Little Boy Blue
by The Reel Lifer
Summary: A mixup causes Booster and Beetle to be transported far from home to help another Blue Beetle. How can the Blue and Gold duo get back before they unravel the spacetime continuum? Through wacky shenanigans! Featuring the Question. Mulletverse. SLASH, HET.
1. Prologue

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Third in the Mullet-verse series, an AU sort of fixit thing. For anyone who wasn't happy with the events of _Countdown to Infinite Crisis_, anyone who misses Blue Beetle, or anyone who just plain likes wacky hijinks.  
This diverges from DC's wild and wacky version of comics reality...some time after Batman shows everyone Beetle's goggles and Booster tries to blast him.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
--------------- 

**Prologue**  
_There has to be a way to blame this on Booster._  
-----

Life, such as it was, settled into a less hectic pattern for the household of Carter and Kord. Likewise the S01101101011010010111010001101000 family (who were, coincidentally, the only ones capable of pronouncing the name, though Junior kept gamely trying).

Their new apartment was a two bedroom so Ted and Booster shared a room, and a bed. Despite that, Ted held firm on his ultimatum that there would be no sex until Booster was blond again. So the bed was used only for sleeping, and the occasional stealth snuggle.

Booster insisted that Ted's ban on sex was driving him nuts, but Ted just pointed out that it was a lack of sanity that had made Booster dye his hair in the first place so he wasn't concerned. Booster countered that he was tempted to use insanity as an excuse to tie Ted up and ravish him. Ted requested that they work _up_ to bondage, because he was a little out of practice.

While Booster was still reeling from that Ted left for his R&D job at KORD Industries, laughing the whole way.

Aside from amusing Ted, his teasing did inspire Booster to wash the dye from his hair. Or at least, to _try_ to wash the dye from his hair. It proved to be surprisingly, annoyingly, _frustratingly_ resilient.

Leaning against the bathroom doorway, shirtless and dripping, Booster held up a bottle of shampoo and mournfully said, "It's not coming out."

Ted looked up, raising his eyes from Booster's wet chest to his face through sheer force of will. He was still getting used to the idea of finding another man attractive, but his body seemed to be in the accelerated learning program in that regard. "What do you mean it's not coming out?"

Shaking the shampoo bottle with one hand, Booster gestured to his hair with his other. "I mean it's _not coming out_," Booster stressed, turning slightly to toss the bottle in the trash. "I used the whole thing and my hair's still _black_."

"Oh god," Ted muttered, bringing a hand to his eyes. "You didn't _magic_ it black, did you?"

"No!" Booster huffed in frustration, then dropped onto the bed beside Ted. "Just dye. I don't know _why_ it's not coming out. It was just some cheap wash in, wash out dye. It washed _in_ just fine, but it's not washing _out_." Rolling onto his side, he rested his cheek on Ted's stomach and looked up at him pleadingly. "Maybe I could just wait for it to grow out. I'm already starting to see the roots."

Ted made a musing sound and absently reached down to run his fingers through Booster's wet hair, staring up at the ceiling. "If you can wait that long to have sex, then go for it."

Booster groaned and buried his face in Ted's shirt. "Hate you," he muttered, voice muffled by the material. He raised his head enough to narrow an eye at Ted. "I'll talk quantum mechanics. String theory. _Tesseracts_."

Unable to contain a shiver, Ted trailed his fingers over Booster's ear and tugged it in retaliation. "Don't waste good material."

Booster groaned again. "Store," he said, resigned. "I'll get a shirt. You check the kitchen, see if we need milk or anything." Pressing a kiss to Ted's abdomen, he raised himself onto his elbows and nipped at Ted's fingers as they left his hair. When Ted raised an eyebrow at him, Booster smirked and got up, heading for the closet.

Sighing, Ted sat up and got off the bed too, leaving the bedroom in search of the kitchen.

On the way through the living room, he caught sight of Skeets floating toward Junior's room. "Hey Skeets, Booster and I are going to the store, could you watch--"

"I'm afraid I have plans," Skeets said apologetically, following him to the kitchen. "Bug and I are taking Max to the park. I'm just here to pick him up."

Ted frowned. "Wait, he's...?" He motioned to Junior's room.

"Yes, he said Junior had asked for his opinion on something."

Narrowing his eyes at the door, Ted shook his head. "Just...tell Junior we're going out and he can call for take-out if he gets hungry, would you?"

One of Skeets's tiny buggy legs moved as if saluting him. "Aye-aye."

---------------

"What about _The Lime Green Beetle_?" Junior asked, striking a heroic pose.

A glance over at Max, leaning back on his bed, revealed a disbelieving expression on the metallic teen's face. At least he was pretty sure it was disbelief. It was sometimes hard to tell. "Maybe something _not_ based on your disturbingly obsessive desire to wear those shoes?" he suggested, pointing at Junior's feet.

Looking down thoughtfully, Junior rocked back and forth from his heels to his toes for a moment. "Why not?"

Max sighed and swiped a hand over his face. "Well for one thing it doesn't really roll off the _tongue_. For another...it's a truly hideous color. I mean, are you sure it was _Superboy's_ shoes you puked on?"

"_I_ like 'em," Junior mumbled.

"Good for you." Max rolled his eyes. "Look...maybe something combining elements of your parents' identities."

Junior flopped down on the bed perpendicular to him, making the other boy bounce. "I _did_. That was it."

There was a pause before Max said, "The beetle thing? 'Cause otherwise I'm not seeing the connection."

"Green?" Junior prompted, looking at him. When that didn't get a response he elaborated. "Blue and Gold? Blue and yellow make green, and gold's just a kind of yellow. Right?"

Max stared at him. "Your logic astounds me sometimes. Aaand it was just a happy coincidence that green happens to be the exact color of your favorite shoes?"

"I _like_ them," Junior insisted.

Shaking his head, Max turned to face him. "I don't see why you want to be a hero anyway. With your genetics there's probably any number of career opportunities open to you."

"Well yeah, obviously," Junior said, rolling his eyes. "I'll need to make money _somehow_."

"It's not--" Max cut himself off, frowning. "I just... It all makes me a little uncomfortable sometimes."

"Max?"

"All these _heroes_. _Everywhere_. You can't turn on the news without hearing about one. They've got territories staked out. Hell you can't turn over a _rock_ without finding one. It's...it's different from back in 'my day'. There weren't as many heroes and you sure didn't _hear_ about them every _day_. And the kind of _power_ they have, it's...it's kind of scary." Max drew his knees up to his chest and rested his arms on them, lowering his chin to his arms. "Bug said it was that kind of thinking that let...'Grandpa Eye' get into my head last time. But...I can't just stop _thinking_ it. I mean..." He looked up at Junior worriedly. "I'm _one_ of them now."

Junior cocked his head thoughtfully. "Well...not _really_," he said slowly. "The metal's kinda weird, sure, but you're not really _scary_."

Max stared at him for a moment, then snorted and shook his head. "Thanks," he said dryly. "I feel so much better now."

Beaming at him, Junior reached over and patted his leg. "What are uncles for?"

Max made a face at him, but a tapping at the door interrupted whatever he might have been going to say.

"Abandon hope, ye who enter!" Junior called cheerfully.

After a moment, the door opened and Skeets floated in. "Time to go, Max," he said. "Junior, your parents went to the store. Ted said you could get take-out if you get hungry."

Junior grinned and bounced to his feet, jostling Max and making the boy scramble to keep from falling off the bed. "Cool! Bye, Max. Have fun."

"Bonding," Max said flatly, plastering on a smile. "Yay. Later, Limey. Remember, if you need an agent I get first dibs."

"Dad said not to sign anything you gave me till he'd read it over first," Junior chirped pleasantly.

Max made another face at him and followed Skeets out, closing the door behind them.

Alone in his room, Junior flopped back on his bed and let out a deep breath. "Some day I'm gonna be a hero," he told the ceiling, grinning.

---------------

"Where's the list?" Booster asked, looking around them as they walked.

Ted tapped the side of his head. "I've got it," he said. "And stop fidgeting, it's making me nervous."

"The hair on the back of my neck feels weird," Booster muttered.

"That's because you put indestructible hair dye on it," Ted countered.

Booster stuck his tongue out at him. "Funny. You're real funny, Ted. A laugh riot."

"I'm here all week," Ted said with a negligent wave of his hand. "Don't forget to tip your waitresses."

Booster opened his mouth to respond, but the world suddenly exploded in a soundless void of white. His senses insisted there was nothing around him, including himself.

He was just starting to panic when everything seemed to pop and suddenly he was blinking spots from his eyes.

"Da--" A voice abruptly cut itself off with a surprised sound. Then there was a faint woosh of air and a worrying click.

When the spots finally dissipated enough that Booster could see, he found himself staring down the barrel of an oddly-shaped gun.

"I can think of about three explanations for this," said the Blue Beetle holding the gun on him. "So you better start first."

-----


	2. Chapter 1

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**1st Chapter**  
_The other side of the coin._  
-----

Landing lightly in the shadows of the alley, Goldie looked around. Her normal blindingly gold suit had been forgone in favor of just her flight ring. Her wrist blasters were stuffed in a pocket just in case. 

The call hadn't been especially clear on anything except that she needed to come get Blue, which had her worried. 

She stepped into the light, hands in her pockets clutching the blasters, then abruptly jerked to a halt. In front of her, at close enough to eye level that she wouldn't have to lecture about the difference between breasts and eyes, were a pair of eyes. 

The eyes blinked at her, then motioned toward a nearby door and retracted into it. 

The door opened as she got closer and Luke peered out at her. He looked nervous. 

"Hey, Goldie," he said. "I am..._so_ sorry. I--" 

"Louie, where's Blue?" Goldie asked with false pleasantness. 

"Goldie? Goldie!" Blue flung the door open and pushed past Louie. Taking a few steps forward, he threw his arms around her and leaned heavily on her. 

"What the--Ugh! Blue, you _reek_ of _booze_!" 

Louie winced, more than a non-meta would probably be capable of. "I swear, if I'da known he couldn't hold his liquor I woulda cut him off sooner." 

"He usually drinks wine," Goldie said absently, shifting her grip on Blue as he pressed his face against her neck, humming tunelessly. Catching sight of Louie's raised eyebrow Goldie rolled her eyes. "He says it tastes like _raisins_." 

Louie snorted and they shared a knowing look. 

Grunting softly as Blue slumped and she had to hold more of his weight, Goldie frowned at Luke. "How'd he _get_ like this, anyway?" 

"Er...a little friendly competition?" 

Goldie narrowed her eyes at him. "With who?" 

Louie smiled sheepishly as his ears morphed into the familiar forms of a specific set of stylized wings. 

"A _speedster_?" Goldie demanded, jostling Blue irritably. "You were doing _shots_ with a _speedster_? Of all the boneheaded-- You _know_ they've got scary-fast metabolisms! What the hell possessed you to--" 

Pressing a finger to her lips, Blue shushed her quietly, eyes darting around. "There's evil afoot, old chum," he whispered. Then he suddenly flung an arm out, wobbling on his feet. "To the Beetle-mobile!" He burst out laughing and hung from her shoulder with one arm. 

"Oh god, not this again." 

"Ever since that parallel universe he got sent to," Louie sighed. 

"His first week back I swear I was ready to sock him if he called me 'chum' again," Goldie muttered, wrapping her arms around Blue. 

"I got chills when he said Batman was a swell guy there," Louie said, shivering melodramatically as comical goosebumps briefly rose all over him. "Of course that was before..." 

"The pre-human Batman days?" Goldie smiled at him. "You're good people, Lu. Thanks for calling me." 

An exaggerated blush rose on Luke's face as he shuffled his feet, then he winked at her. "No problem, Goldie. See ya later." He waved as she rose into the air, carrying her partner. 

"Woo! I'm king of the world!" Blue flung his arms out and Goldie had to shift her grip quickly to avoid dropping him. 

"Swear to god, Blue, I'm gonna burn that damn movie," she muttered as she maneuvered them up through Bug's open hatch. 

"Aw." Blue leaned over and gave her cheek a sloppy kiss. "Y'wouldn't do that." His eyes darted from side to side, then he whispered, "I'll tell ya a _seee_cret." 

"Oh yeah?" Goldie asked, dumping him into one of Bug's seats. "What's that?" 

Blue put a finger to his lips. "_Shhh._ Can't tell anyone." 

Rolling her eyes as she took the controls, Goldie promised, "I won't tell anyone." 

"Even you?" 

"Huh?" 

"Y'gotta keep it to yerself, but y'can't keep it to _y'rself_. Can't tell yourself. Keep it a secret." 

Goldie stared at him. "Oookaaay." 

"I'm gonna _marry_ you some day," Blue said, beaming at her. 

Goldie continued to stare at him. "That's..." She shook her head. "So why do we always deny we're together when people ask?" 

"'Cause we aren't." Blue gave her a look that indicated she should've known that. "It's...it's _tradition_." 

Smiling, Goldie turned her attention to the control panel in front of her. "You and your traditions," she murmured affectionately. 

"See...if we wait? Then...then... When we _do_ get together?" Blue spread his hands and smiled brilliantly. "Happy ever after. Just like my folks have." 

Goldie opened her mouth to reply, but Blue had already slumped unconsciously in the chair, a soft snore gurgling from his open mouth. Smiling, she reached over and gently petted his hair. "Yeah," she said wistfully, her vision going watery. "They sure did." 

---------------

"Blue Beetle." 

Junior grinned, recognizing the voice. "And a good day to you too, tall, dark, and batty. I thought your shift wasn't for another hour." 

"I'm here to talk to you," Batman replied, striding forward to stand next to his chair in the monitor room. 

Raising an eyebrow behind the opaque yellow of his goggles, Junior said, "Oh?" 

"You need to let them go," Batman said quietly, dropping a companionable hand on his shoulder. 

"Hey, I don't make up the duty rosters--" he started. 

"Your _parents_, Blue," Batman interrupted, hand tightening on his shoulder. "They're gone, let it go. Booster and Beetle were good people but--" 

"You're right," Junior said cheerfully. 

"What?" 

"They _are_ gone," Junior agreed, then looked up at him and frowned. "_Gone_. Not dead. There's a difference. Gone means you find 'em, dead means you find a spell." 

Batman sighed and dropped his hand. "I'm telling you this as a _friend_. You're displaying a worrying level of obsession. And it could be dangerous to your mental health." 

"Funny thing, my dads always get scary-competent when they're nuts," Junior replied blithely. "Maybe they passed that on to me." 

"Goldie's worried about you." 

"Goldie _bet me_ I'd get myself killed trying to find my folks." Junior smirked at him. "That's one dollar I intend to _win_." 

"Junior..." Batman sighed. 

"_Tim_," Junior countered sternly. "Does this conversation have anything to do with monitor duty?" 

"No." 

"Is it helping me find my dads?" 

"..._No._" 

"Theeen why are we _having_ it?" Junior smiled cheerfully at him. "I'll see you in forty-five minutes for shift change, Batman." 

Sighing once more, the Dark Knight turned and strode towards the door. 

"Oh, and Bats?" Junior called after him. 

Batman stopped at the door and waited. 

"You lose points for using Goldie against me." 

---------------

It was a simple request, even if tinged with desperation. It called for a simple response. 

"Why me?" was all the faceless man asked, staring up into the expressionless yellow goggles of the third man to call himself Blue Beetle. 

Hanging upside-down from a fire escape, Junior smiled hopefully. "Because you're a nice guy who I know would be willing to help out a pal?" 

The Question made a sound to indicate he didn't believe him. 

Junior sighed and grabbed hold of a metal bar so he could swing down into the alley. Brushing his gloves off on his suit as he straightened from his landing, he turned to face the Question again. "Okay, because no one's sure _what_ you have, just that it works," he said quietly. "And so far nothing else has. Just...please?" 

Question sighed. "Would it be too cliche to say I have a bad feeling about this?" 

"Just cliche enough, I think." 

"I'll help," Question muttered. "Despite my misgivings." 

Junior grinned. 

---------------

The paisley-shaded dancing lights faded away into failed nothingness, leaving behind only a faint scent of burnt hair. 

"What? No! You...you got a feel for them, didn't you?" Junior's Blue Beetle cowl was off and his goggles had been shoved onto his forehead. "They're _out there_ somewhere. You _felt_ them, didn't you?" 

Question stared expressionlessly at the pleading blue eyes. "I felt _something_," he corrected. 

"Something's better than nothing," Junior countered. 

Question leaned against the table and sighed. "A _crumb_ isn't the same as a _cookie_." 

"It gives us something to _shoot_ for. We'll figure it out. We can _do_ this." 

His expression was fierce as he said determinedly, "We _will_ do this." 

---------------

"Are you _sure_ about this?" Question asked slowly, cocking his head and pointedly not calling the man a lunatic. 

"Look, it's...blood is good for this kind of thing, right?" Junior asked, fidgeting. "Well I'm their blood. So you use _me_ to find _them_." 

"Blood is powerful, yes," Question agreed. "But also _dangerous_. Are you sure you--Why am I asking? Of course you're sure." He sighed in resignation. "Even knowing all the possible _consequences_ you would probably _still_ be sure you wanted to continue this ill-advised _crap shoot_ into the time-space continuum." 

Junior bounced on the balls of his feet for a moment, then turned and took something from a desk drawer. "And I thought maybe if you needed a power boost, you could try this," he said, holding up an amulet that looked suspiciously like a blue scarab. 

"Is that...?" 

"Yep," Junior replied, adjusting his cowl and shoving his goggles over his eyes. "So let's do this thing." 

---------------

The white light slowly formed into two man-shaped figures and Junior had to fight to stay still as Question had instructed. It was _working_. It was finally _working_! 

"Da--" Junior started excitedly, recognizing his dads' faces, then abruptly cut himself off as he realized that what he was seeing wasn't a trick of the light. 

It was his dads...but not as he recognized them. Their hair was different, for one thing. And they looked... Something wasn't right. It wasn't them. 

It was reflexes honed through practice and practical application that had his dart gun out and aimed at them so quickly, while his mind whirled with possibilities. 

"I can think of about three explanations for this," Junior said, even as his mind presented him with more. "So you better start first." 

-----


	3. Chapter 2

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
--------------- 

**2nd Chapter**  
_In which there are NO shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades._  
-----

Staring at the gun pointed at his face, Booster made a decision. Ducking to the side, he grabbed Ted as he activated his forcefield.

"What--Hey!" the Blue Beetle protested indignantly, adjusting his aim. "Stop--Oh you guys _so_ better not be shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades!"

"_That_ was one of the three explanations?" Ted demanded.

"Number five, actually."

Booster looked up to frown at him. "I thought you said you thought of three."

"At the _time_," Blue Beetle said defensively. "I kept thinking! That's why I asked you to go first."

"_Asked_?" Ted sputtered. "You threatened!"

Tilting his head to look at the gun he was still pointing at them, the Blue Beetle straightened and frowned uncertainly. "You could've been shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades! Or kill-bots! Or...something..."

"Kill-bots?" Booster muttered, glancing at Ted. Ted looked back and they stared at each other for a moment, as if trying to determine if the other was secretly a kill-bot.

Looking over his shoulder, the Blue Beetle said, "I thought you said you had them."

That was when they noticed the other person in the room. He had no distinguishing features. In fact he didn't have features, period.

"Isn't that your sociopath friend from Hub?" Booster whispered to Ted, who quickly shushed him.

"I _did_," the faceless man hissed. "'Power boost.' It went too _far_ and in the wrong _direction_!" He threw something at the Blue Beetle, who caught it as it bounced off his chest. "I'm going to sleep on your couch."

"But--" the Blue Beetle started to protest as the Question stalked toward the door.

"I can't try again so soon," Question cut him off, then added, "They _are_ who they _look_ like. Start from there."

"They could _look_ like shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades," Blue Beetle muttered petulantly after the man was gone.

"That's a favorite with you, isn't it?" Ted asked dryly.

The Blue Beetle seemed to abruptly remember that they were there and straightened his arm holding the gun again. After a moment he sighed and lowered it. "Late, late movie last night," he admitted. He cocked his head and frowned thoughtfully at them. "I know who you look like, but...you don't look _exactly_ like them." He motioned at them with his gun. "So who _are_ you?"

"...Who do we look like?" Ted stalled.

Slumping, Blue Beetle stared up at the ceiling and groaned in frustration. After a moment he straightened again and put the gun away in the holster on his belt. "Okay, cards on the table," he said, reaching for his cowl. "Full disclosure, blah blah blah." He shoved the cowl off his head, revealing messy brown hair that looked like it could use a cut or a comb or both. Pulling his goggles off, he blinked familiar blue eyes at them. "You _look_ a lot like my parents."

Booster dropped his forcefield in shock. "Junior?" he asked in disbelief.

Shaking off Booster, Ted took a step forward, examining the Blue Beetle dazedly. "Damn," he muttered.

Looking startled, then slightly hurt, the man asked, "What?"

Ted crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "You _did_ get my short genes," he said. They were the same height. "Am I ever going to hear the end of it?"

A grin spread across the man's face. "I still hold out hope for a very late growth spurt."

"It _is_ Junior?" Booster asked Ted, coming to stand next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder. He was the tallest of the three. "Ah, question: time travel or age thing?"

"What year is it?" Ted asked Junior.

Junior scratched his ear thoughtfully. "Um...thirty-one eighty-four."

"What!" Ted and Booster chorused incredulously.

"But--That's after I was born!" Booster sputtered. "That's after _Kid Flash_ was born." He paused thoughtfully. "I think."

Junior stared from one to the other in confusion, then his face suddenly cleared and he grinned sheepishly. "Oh. Right, sorry. Sorry, I...I forget sometimes. Usually everyone knows to convert--Right. That's, uh, heh. That's by the Discordian calendar. Sorry." He covered his face with one hand and snickered. "God this is just...just too freaking _typical_."

With a laugh, he looked up at them again and beamed. "Does this family have the worst luck with magic, or what?"

---------------

It didn't take long for them to pinpoint when in time Ted and Booster had been grabbed. Once adequately prompted, Junior smacked his forehead and admitted he couldn't believe he hadn't figured it out sooner.

"I was a few months old before I realized you guys didn't _always_ have bad hair," he had said, then amended it with, "Well, once I figured out what bad hair looked like, anyway."

To which Ted had self-consciously tried to flatten his hair and made a mental note to get someone to fix the damage Booster had done to it.

Just as they were starting to question a tight-lipped Junior, the sound of a door slamming elsewhere interrupted.

"Honeeey, I'm hooome!" a female voice called out.

"In the lab, dear!" Junior shouted back, grinning.

Ted and Booster shared a look, surprised at this new development.

Not long after, the door opened and a tall, athletic-looking woman with short blond hair and glowing orange eyes peered into the room. "Is anything going to explode or suffocate me, darling?"

"Not at all, light of my life," Junior said cheerfully as he looked up. He suddenly stifled a laugh, clearing his throat. "Um..." He pointed to his own eyes and wiggled his finger, giving her a pointed look.

The woman stared at him in confusion for a moment, then her eyebrows flew up. "Oh damn! _Damn!_ I'm still wearing--No wonder that nun looked at me funny!"

Junior burst out laughing and the woman stuck her tongue out at him as she entered the room. It was then that she caught sight of Ted and Booster.

Ted and Booster waved.

The woman stared at them and waved back.

"Blue?" she asked with false sweetness. "Sitrep?"

"Oh," Junior motioned to Ted and Booster. "We accidentally pulled them from the past."

"Ah." The woman nodded as she came to stand next to his chair, then abruptly smacked his shoulder. "What did I tell you about unraveling the space-time continuum?"

"Not to! _Ow._" Junior pouted at her. "What was that for?"

"Parents from the past, Blue? I can feel the multiverse crashing around us as we speak! What the hell?"

"It'll be fine, Goldie!" Junior protested.

"So are we feeding them?" Goldie asked, her indignation suddenly gone.

Junior leaned his head against her hip and she started petting his hair. "Did you get corn?"

"In a can, just like you like," Goldie confirmed, smiling down at him. "Want me to put some aside when I warm it up?"

"You're too good to me."

"I know. You're doing the dishes."

"Ah, excuse me," Ted spoke up, startling the pair. "Are you two...?" He motioned between them with an expectant look on his face.

Junior and Goldie stared at him, exchanged a look, then stared at him again.

"Partners," Junior said as Goldie said, "Roommates."

They exchanged another look.

"We live together," Goldie said.

"And work together," Junior added.

"Blue Beetle and Gold Star," Goldie gushed, striking a pose.

"A new generation of Blue and Gold!" Junior was hampered by the chair in his ability to pose heroically, but never-the-less did his best.

"Gold Star?" Booster repeated slowly.

Goldie beamed at him. "I was your plucky young sidekick until you retired."

"Semi-retired," Junior corrected.

"Well I'm not his sidekick anymore anyway," Goldie countered. "Big damn hero, here."

Junior grinned up at her and she shoved him, rolling her eyes. "Not a word, Blue Boy," she said, starting for the door. "I'm gonna put groceries away. Can I assume Mr. Punctuation is on the couch?"

"Don't wake him, he's cranky," Junior warned.

"When isn't he? S'why I never asked to be _his_ plucky young sidekick." Goldie struck another pose in the doorway. "Comma Girl: Making criminals pause! _Bleh._" Pausing to look over her shoulder as she left, she smiled, a bit sadly, at Ted and Booster. "It's nice to see you guys again."

Junior beamed at them. "Isn't she swell?" he said cheerfully.

"Yeaaah," Ted said slowly, staring at the door suspiciously. "Junior, where are...the future us?"

Waving airily, Junior said, "Went missing a bit ago. I've been trying to find--hang on a sec." He tapped something metal in his ear. "Hello? ...Yes. To whichm personality am I speaking?" He grinned. "S'up, your gloominess? ...Uh huh...uh huh...yeah. End of the world? _Again?_ ...Um, now's not a good t--"

Junior leaned back in the chair and rolled his eyes. "Yes I'm able-bodied. ...Yeees I'm an adult. ...Yeah, I'm a hero. Okay I _get_ it, Bats. Look, it's just...I kind of have a family emergency here and--"

Sitting up abruptly, Junior's face went blank. "Don't say things you'll regret later, Tim. We'll be there in a few. Blue Beetle out." He tapped the communicator in his ear again and frowned thoughtfully for a moment before reaching over and pressing a button on a small box sitting on a nearby table.

"Muffin, Timmy called," he said cheerfully. "World's coming to an end."

"What, again?" Goldie's voice piped from the box. "I thought it did that last week, pookie."

"No, no, that was just a _sign_ of the end of the world, cupcake," Junior corrected. "Final episode of _The Simpsons_, remember?"

Goldie sniffed sadly. "I'll miss it, dearest."

"Me too, lambchop. Anyway, Batman wants us to come over and play heroes."

"Is that like playing doctor, baby?" Goldie asked, entering the room again.

Junior hit another button on the box. "You'll have to ask _him_, dumpling. But I think he meant beating bad guys."

"The magic is gone, punkin," Goldie mourned.

"I..." Junior paused, an odd look on his face, then furrowed his brow in thought.

Goldie checked her watch.

Junior grimaced, tugging his hair with one hand and gesturing randomly with the other.

"Aaand _time_!" Goldie said.

"Gah no! Sweetiepie! _Sweetiepie_!" Junior buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"You know the rules," Goldie said smugly, tapping her watch. "One minute _only_."

"Your watch is fast," Junior accused.

"You set it."

"Oh come on!" Junior protested, looking up. "It was just a second!"

Goldie crossed her arms over her chest. "No way! Bad enough you used 'muffin' and 'cupcake' consecutively." She cocked her head thoughtfully. "Speaking of. Food theme? You hungry?"

Putting a hand to his stomach, Junior said, "I could eat."

"Want to grab a burger on the way over?" Goldie asked, dropping a hand on his shoulder. "You know how Bug loves drive throughs."

"Yeah okay," Junior agreed, standing up. "Don't let me forget napkins this time, though. Last time I got ketchup on the suit the police thought I'd been stabbed and was being brave about it."

Goldie patted his arm and turned to leave. "I'll go change."

There was a moment of silence before Ted cleared his throat and said, "What the hell?"

Junior smiled sheepishly. "Uh, sorry, dad. Dads." He shrugged helplessly and reached for his goggles. "Gotta go be a hero."

-----

(WTF? Since when are you not allowed to use a question mark and exclamation mark together? Sentences can lose subtle meaning without one or the other. Very frustrating. Oh well, I've done my best to choose whichever is most appropriate. My apologies that you're not getting the original version.) 


	4. Chapter 3

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**3rd Chapter**  
_Dropping names like flies._  
-----

In the three minutes it took Goldie to change into costume, Junior explained some of the functions of the communication box on the table and said it was keyed in so that they could keep an ear on what was going on. Goldie returned just as he was pointing out the portable TV on a shelf and told him to hustle his butt or she'd leave without him. 

Goldie's costume was skin-tight and blindingly gold, the color only broken up occasionally by blue gloves, boots, belt, and a small blue star over her heart. It included some sort of mirrored visor and, as with Booster's costume, her hair was free on top. 

It was beautifully tacky. 

Shooting them another grin, Junior bounded after her, adjusting his cowl as he went. 

Now Booster and Ted were listening in to the increasing chatter as Junior and Goldie approached the site of the disturbance. 

A voice that Junior had identified as "Batman" suddenly said, "Blue Beetle, you take the Trickster." 

"The _Trickster_? I thought he was dead!" 

"What was it you told me? 'Gone means you find them, dead means you find a spell'?" 

"I've noticed most people have a strange tendency to _stay_ dead and--Hey! It's not even the same guy! Were you making a _funny_ instead of a _point_, Batman? Knock it off lest I die of shock. And you're scaring the womenfolk. I think I saw Goldie trembling." 

"It was your manly, macho testosterone power," Goldie spoke up dryly. "Made me weak at the knees." 

"Would it help if I flounced a little while I'm kicking booty?" Junior asked. "And hey, shouldn't we be getting Flash for the Trickster? He's one of his, isn't he?" 

"Flash is taking care of a tsunami," Batman replied. 

"What about Robin?" 

"You know Robin's with the Teen Titans, who are _not_ getting involved in this fight." 

"Sure whatever, but does Robin know anything about this guy? Excuse me for not wanting to throw down against a supervillain I know nothing about except that there may be another guy by the same name who's _dead_." 

"...You're right. I apologize for dismissing your legitimate concerns. Piper reports that this new Trickster has an unknown form of propulsion in his shoes, and projectile weapons." 

"...Yeah well...um...that's o--Holy cow! Holy--Why didn't you mention the _zombies_, Batman!" 

"I--" 

"I woulda brought my helmet, we'd be done before supper. I could've made 'em do a conga line! That's always fun, right?" 

"Except for when they shake their groove thangs right off," Goldie said. 

"That was one time," Junior protested. "And anyway, a little adhesive and it was good as new. Better, even!" 

"Those _aren't_ zombies." 

"_What?_ I can see the rotting flesh from here! I know what decomposing corpses smell like, and _those_ smell like it to high heaven! I used to have a _pet_ zombie. I know from zombies, Batman. Don't _tell_ me those lurching figures down there aren't zombies!" 

"Preach it, sister!" Goldie cheered wryly. 

"Y--wait, what?" 

"...Are you done?" Batman asked. 

"Yeah I'm good." 

"Sure?" 

"Sorry, been a day. Please, continue." 

"Thank you," Batman said dryly. "The smell and appearance are illusions. Those are actually ordinary people, they've just been brainwashed." 

"...Zombies because of brainwashing still counts as zombies, Batman!" 

"Fine, whatever. Trickster." 

Glancing at each other, Ted and Booster grinned. Their boy was annoying Batman. There was just something very right about that. 

"Yeah yeah, yeesh," Junior muttered. "I oughta write a paper or something. The academic research on the undead is woefully lacking. _And_ biased towards vampires. I mean, who cares about vampires? They suck blood, big whoop. Zombies have _variety_, man!" 

"Much less sexy, though," Goldie remarked thoughtfully. 

"Necrophilia is necrophilia, and illegal in most states," Junior said primly. 

"I'll tell you what's woefully lacking. It's how little recognition the undead get in the eyes of the law. Eat a little human flesh and suddenly you're an unholy perversion unto God. Let's have a little separation of church and state, here, people!" 

"Hey, you know what would stop me worrying about how much sense that makes to me right now? Beating the bad guy." 

"Ooh, yes let's." 

"Sounds like our cue to check the news," Ted suggested, reaching up to switch on the small TV. 

"Bonzai!" Junior shouted excitedly over the comm. 

_"--ooks like the team of **Blue and Gold** has joined the fight, with Blue Beetle jumping into the midst of this **army** of undead. Can we get a close-up?"_

"Is it me, or are these zombies unusually _happy_?" 

"Say again, Blue Beetle?" Batman said. 

"Well they're--hngh!--_smiling_. Big smiles. Phaugh! What is that _stench_?" 

"Zombies, Blue," Goldie pointed out. "Zombies stink." 

"No, it's not zombie-stink," Junior argued, sounding thoughtful. "It smells like...heh...like..." 

_"--has released a cloud of unidentified **gas**,"_ the TV reporter was saying. 

"Joker gas!" Junior shouted, then snickered. "It smells like--_ha!_--Joker gas!" When he spoke again, his voice was muffled like he had something over his nose and mouth. "This is Blue Beetle to _anyone_! The Trickster has released _Joker gas_! Me and Gold can try to evacuate civilians, but we _can't contain it_. I need anyone who can safely dispose of nerve gas to get here like _NOW!_" 

_"--appear to be evacuating people in the area--"_

"Is the filter working?" Goldie asked worriedly. 

"Fine, I'm just a little giggley," Junior assured her, then snickered again. "Sorry, sorry. ...I _repeat!_ This is Blue Beetle to _anyone_ in the vicinity who can safely dispose of _nerve gas_! Hustle your buns over here like _ten minutes ago_! And get some anti-toxin, _someone_! These people are looking way too happy about being evacuated!" 

"I think I can extend my forcefield a little," Goldie suggested. "That could buy us some time." 

"If I've never told you you're brilliant before, it's because it's a given," Junior praised her. "Do it!" 

"Need a hand?" a new voice spoke up. 

"Joey!" Junior greeted in relief. "I've been happier to see you before, but not very. Can you do something about the--" 

"Way ahead of you, pal," Joey replied cheerfully. "Just get those people to safety." 

"On it!" 

_"And it looks like the Elemental has arrived in time to contain the g--We're getting reports it was **Joker gas**. Elemental is disposing of the Joker gas while team Blue and Gold evacuates the area. We go now to Milo Bloom who's--"_

"It was the volcano, wasn't it?" Joey, the Elemental, asked. 

"Eh?" 

"When you've been happier to see me. That time with the Rainbow Raider, and the volcano..." 

"Oh yeaaah." Junior laughed. "Yeah, I remember that. Wow. Who would've thought the Rainbow Raider could kick butt, huh?" 

"Look out it's--!" 

Something suddenly streaked across the TV screen to impact explosively against a building, sending it toppling over. 

"Get out of the way, people!" 

_"Whoa! What was that? Milo, can you tell us--It's just fallen on Gold Star! The unidentified object has collapsed a building on Gold Star and...was it three? Three people--"_

"_Goldie!_" Junior shouted in panic. 

"Blue!" Batman cut in. "Civilians!" 

"I can panic _and_ do my job, thanks!" Junior snapped. 

"Booster?" Ted whispered, staring at the screen in horror. "Could you survive something like that?" 

"Can, have," Booster muttered, wrapping his arms around the man and resting his cheek against Ted's hair. "She's...She said she was my plucky young sidekick, right? So she's probably...Well she said she had a forcefield, at least." 

Ted nodded silently. 

_"--see? Wait, it looks like...it looks like there's some movement from the rubble--Can you zoom in on that?"_

On screen, the remains of the building did appear to be moving. Bricks and smaller chunks of concrete were trickling down the sides of larger piles and slabs in one localized spot. After a moment, a golden glow could be seen through the wreckage, and a moment later Goldie appeared, heaving a flat slab of concrete off her back. 

"Goldie!" 

"...givin' me a headache, Blue..." Goldie's weakly complained as her forcefield disappeared and she started helping some people out of the debris. 

Junior just laughed, and on TV Ted and Booster could see him hopping over the rubble to join her in helping the people. They seemed shocky, but unharmed. 

_"They're okay! And what's this?"_

Reaching into the debris once more, Goldie lifted out a puppy and flew out of the hole to stand next to Junior. To show its gratitude, the puppy enthusiastically licked her face, barking and wagging its tail. 

_"Ha, look at that little guy go. Looks like she's earned a **gold star** in his book, huh Milo?" _

"I hate you." 

"...What was that, Milo? I'm getting some **static** here." 

"That's right, Tucker! A gold star. **Ha.**" 

"You did good, Goldie," Junior said affectionately, reaching over to pet the puppy in her arms. 

"Think I _pulled_ something," Goldie muttered. 

"I'll rub your shoulders when we get home, babe." 

"_Ppftt!_ And there's _dog_ spit dangerously close to my mouth." 

Junior laughed. "Yeah, but puppies are very photogenic." 

"Huh?" 

Throwing an arm around her shoulders on screen, Junior grinned and waved from behind the smiling reporter. "Smile for the camera, Goldie." 

_"This is Tucker Gleeson reporting. Back to you, Jack."_

---------------

Ted and Booster stared at the TV as the image of a cheerfully waving Blue Beetle and a surprised Gold Star behind the vapidly smiling reporter was replaced with an image of another reporter in the news station's studio. In the background, they could still hear chatter from the communication box. The fight was winding down elsewhere, without photogenic puppies, and everyone was checking in. 

"They won," Ted remarked. 

"They're okay," Booster agreed, gently squeezing his arms around the man. 

"You know...I always forget how hard it is to just..._watch_." 

Booster sighed and buried his nose in Ted's hair, breathing deep. "Looks like we have a lot of watching to look forward to." 

"Damn," Ted muttered, leaning against him. He reached up to wrap his arms around Booster's and they stood silently for a moment, letting the sounds of the TV and the comm wash over them. 

Finally, Booster said, "They're good." 

"Yep." 

"Doesn't make it easier," Booster sighed. 

"Nope." 

A loud bark from the comm startled them and they started listening again. 

"Blue, Gold, you're on cleanup," the Batman voice said. 

"Look, normally I'd love to," Junior said. "But I gotta cut things short here, I've got a family emergency and--" 

"_Blue_..." Batman sighed. 

"So help me Eris, if you don't _shut up_ I'm gonna stick a numbing dart in your butt," Junior snapped. "...I'll help with cleanup. Just... Blue Beetle out." 

"Something's up with that," Ted said musingly. 

Booster shrugged. "Maybe Batman's just being a dick." 

"That doesn't explain the 'went missing' part, though," Ted argued. He frowned suddenly. "Booster?" 

"Yeah?" 

"If he's on some sort of crazy, obsessed quest to bring the future us back from the dead?" 

"Um...yeah?" 

"I'm blaming you." 

-----  
(For those wondering, Eris is the goddess of discord. She is the "matron deity of the modern Discordian religion," a "Chaos-based religion." Junior, as it happens, is a Discordian.) 


	5. Chapter 4

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**4th Chapter**  
_Embarrassing stories and eggrolls._  
-----

On TV, the news anchor was filling in the missing parts of the story. Someone-or-other evil, averted end of the world, efforts of the Justice League, extensive property damage, blah blah blah, and a puppy. Through the communication box they could hear a subdued Junior, whose voice regained most of its "perpetually cheerful" quality after Goldie threatened to tickle him. Their voices and those of other heroes provided a steady drone of chatter as they did their best to clean up some of the worst of the damage. 

From the sound of it, Junior had found at least one "real," non-brainwashed zombie and seemed intent on introducing it to Batman. 

Despite the lack of imminent doom for their son, Ted still felt tense. So Booster felt duty-bound to help him relax. 

Alternately murmuring a formula he remembered from high school chemistry and nibbling on Ted's ear seemed to do the trick, and pretty soon Ted had melted back against him, head resting on Booster's shoulder as he hummed appreciatively. 

Booster was about to make a sneak attack on the front of Ted's pants when a door slammed open and Junior's and Goldie's voices filled the house. Startled, Ted straightened, then patted Booster's arm affectionately and moved toward the lab's door. 

Suppressing a groan, Booster followed. 

"Oh you get along with people just _fine_," Goldie was saying, a smirk in her voice. 

"Now see, I can't tell if you're calling me a people person or a slut," Junior said. 

Goldie made a noncommittal sound. 

"Hey no, now I _want_ to know!" 

"It's nice to want things," Goldie said absently. "For instance, I want clean gutters." 

"I told you, that's a scientific experiment," Junior contended. 

"Uh uh, don't pull that with me," Goldie countered. "I took college biology, I _know_ science stink. The gutters smell worse than the biological waste bin on the autopsy days." 

"It's chemistry--" Junior started, then caught sight of Ted and Booster emerging from the lab. He grinned and held up the plastic bag he was holding. "Chinese for dinner!" 

His grin faltered as he took in their flushed appearance and he raised a hand to his eyes as he muttered, "Jeezum crow." Looking up, he said, "Uh, guys...house rule is, no nookie in the lab. I've got hazardous materials in there and I don't want them getting knocked over or contaminated or anything." 

"We weren't--" Ted started to protest, blushing. 

"Got it," Booster interrupted, throwing an arm over Ted's shoulders and grinning. 

"Table?" Goldie asked Junior, taking the bag from him. 

"Company," he agreed, and she disappeared through another door. 

There was silence for a moment before Ted asked, "Is it really an experiment?" 

Eyes darting to the door Goldie had gone through, Junior leaned closer and whispered, "No, but I figure I can think of something if she insists. Who knows? I might have the next penicillin growing in there." 

Ted snorted and Booster grinned, muttering, "That's my boy." 

Goldie reappeared moments later and said, "Chow's on." Then, throwing an arm around Junior's shoulders with a falsely sweet smile, she tweaked his ear and added, "You forgot to turn off your comm, sweetie." 

Junior grimaced and let her lead him through the door. 

---------------

"So there he is," Goldie said, jabbing at the air with the piece of meat speared on her fork, "In nothing but a paperbag over his head, just _completely_ unconcerned with that whole nudity _taboo_ thing." 

Junior snorted, pausing in his excavation of baby corns from a carton with his chopsticks. "Please. I'm practically naked in the suit anyway. The only difference is that it keeps me from dangling." 

"Thank you, Junior," Goldie said dryly. "You always know how to spice up a conversation with vivid imagery." 

Giving an absent, sloppy salute with his chopsticks, Junior returned his attention to the carton. 

"Where was I?" Goldie asked Ted and Booster. 

"Paperbag and public indecency," Ted prompted around a bite of sweet and sour pork. 

"Right!" Goldie jabbed the meat in his direction, then popped it in her mouth. "Anyway, he gets up there, and of course it takes him forever to notice that everyone's staring at him. So," she snickered, "he just looks around at everyone, totally confused. And when Flash sorta clears his throat and points at him, it looks like he _finally_ gets it." She squeezed her eyes shut and sniggered for a moment. "But no! He thinks everyone's staring at _the bag_! Blames _me_ for the crappy beetle picture on it! No one had the heart to explain, so someone finally just said he looked chilly and let him borrow their cape!" 

Pounding a fist on the table, Goldie guffawed and Ted and Booster joined in. Junior just shook his head, grinning in amusement at them. 

Wiping tears from her eyes, Goldie asked breathlessly, "Hey whose cape was that?" 

Junior shook his head. "Don't remember." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then shrugged. "It was blue." 

"Yeah, yeah!" Goldie agreed, snapping her fingers and pointing at him. "You said you were good to go again, 'cause it was blue and the bag had a beetle, so you were still keeping with the theme." 

"This is completely backwards, you know," Junior remarked. 

Goldie tilted her head. "Backwards?" 

"It's supposed to be my folks telling my friends embarrassing stories about me, not the other way around." 

Goldie waved a hand dismissively. "Doesn't count. You're not embarrassed." 

"And photos," Junior continued musingly. 

"Ooh!" Goldie squealed, grinning mischievously. "I have pictures!" 

"No you don't." 

"Yes I do. I'm gonna show 'em the nipple suit." 

"No you won't." 

Goldie stuck her tongue out at him. "Too!" 

"No you won't, because I burned them," Junior said matter-of-factly. 

Booster choked on a chestnut, laughing, while Goldie huffed indignantly. 

"Fine," she said. "I'll just show them the copies on my computer." 

"Deleted 'em." Junior sing-songed, twirling his chopsticks. 

Goldie narrowed her eyes at him and Junior just grinned in response. "...I'll have to show them the ones I saved online, then," she challenged. 

Pausing thoughtfully, Junior raised an eyebrow at her. Goldie raised one right back and smirked. She frowned suspiciously when Junior smirked back. Ted and Booster watched their byplay with interest. 

Finally, Junior reached up to the goggles resting on top of his head and yanked them over his eyes. Reaching into a pocket, he swiftly donned his Blue Beetle gloves and purposefully touched the small ovals on the backs of them. 

"What are you--You're not!" Goldie protested. 

Junior just smirked and started making typing motions on the table. Goldie shrieked and bolted from the table, knocking her chair over. There was a sound of doors slamming and after a moment, during which Junior continued typing, her voice rang through the house. 

"_Bastard!_" 

Snickering, Junior finally stopped. Touching the ovals again, he took the gloves off and put them away. Then he shoved his goggles back on top of his head and resumed eating. 

"Aaand what was that about?" Ted asked curiously. 

"Hacked her account and removed the pictures," Junior said calmly, his mouth twitching with amusement. He glanced up and winked. "Don't tell her, I just moved them." 

Laughing, they returned to their meal, only briefly interrupted when Goldie returned. She punched Junior in the arm, righted her chair, sat down again, and began another story as if nothing had happened. 

---------------

"Okay, obviously you can't stay here," Junior said after dinner had been cleared off the table. "That whole...unraveling the space-time continuum..._thing_." 

"That's bad," Goldie pointed out helpfully. 

"Right. Plus I'm sure the, uh past me is...missing you," Junior added, fidgeting. He cleared his throat and spread his hands. "Anyway, the way I see it we have two problems. We need to get you guys back, and we need to get _my_ parents...er, the future you...um, back." 

"That part'll have to wait till Inquiry wakes up, and he's still out cold," Goldie said. 

"How, _exactly_, did you get us here in the first place?" Ted asked, leaning his elbows on the table. 

"And what does...what's his name again?" 

"Question." 

"Right," Booster continued. "What does Question have to do with it? I thought he was just psycho." 

"He is," Goldie muttered, rolling her eyes. 

Junior shot her a look, then turned back to his time-displaced parents. "Um...he's been helping me find y--my folks." He shook his head. "But something went _wrong_ and..." He trailed off and gestured toward them wryly. 

"That's another thing," Ted said, frowning. "What happened to...the future us? Went missing where? How?" 

Goldie opened her mouth to speak, but Junior suddenly snapped his fingers in front of her face. When she indignantly turned to him, he started moving his hands in jerky, purposeful movements. It took Ted a few moments to realize that it was sign language. 

"I would _not_," Goldie protested. 

Mouth pressed in a thin line, Junior's signing grew jerkier and more emphatic. Finally Goldie sighed irritably and crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine," she muttered. 

"What the hell was that about?" Ted demanded. 

Junior sighed and set his hands on the table as he turned to face them again. "In the interests of _not_ wiping my current self from existence, there are some things...you can't know. About now. About things that happened after your time and before this one. And...as much as I..._wish_ I could tell you some things. I don't know, _warn_ you. I...It would be selfish." He looked at them pleadingly. "I mean...I went to a bachelor party recently. Okay? If I tell you something, and you..._change_ the past...like, are they still going to get married?" He stared down at his hands as he clasped them. "I don't have the right to screw with the timeline like that." 

Ted glanced at Booster, who met his eyes with an unhappy look on his face. He wondered, not for the first time, whether the man had changed things that were supposed to happen. And if so, how much? 

"That's why I was..." Junior motioned vaguely with his hands to indicate his earlier signing. "So you wouldn't know what I was saying." 

"How'd you know we wouldn't understand?" Booster asked curiously. 

Junior looked startled and glanced at Goldie briefly before looking back at them and saying, "Well...because you had to learn when I went deaf." 

There was silence for a moment as his words sunk in before... 

"What!" Ted blurted as Booster asked, "You're _deaf_?" 

Junior glanced from one to the other, then blinked. "No," he said hurriedly. "_No_, no. It was only temporary. I got better." He smiled wryly and pointed to his ear. "Well, mostly. I'm still a little deaf in this ear, but it's the one I keep my comm in so usually I don't even notice. And I'll probably get it back eventually." He shrugged. "It didn't last long, but it was still long enough that I had to, um, like prepare for the possibility that I wouldn't get better." 

"Oh," Ted muttered thoughtfully. 

Shaking his head, Junior raised his hands. "Anyway, that's not important right now. We need to find a way to get you back." 

"Preparations are being made," a rough voice spoke up from the doorway. 

The group looked up, startled, to find the Question standing there. His face was still smooth and featureless, but his clothing was rumpled from being slept in. Turning his head to face Junior, he said in a voice still gruff with sleep, "You need to locate a Russian satellite. 4578 CCCP. I'll explain tomorrow." 

With that, he snatched a fortune cookie from the counter and retreated back through the door. 

There was a minute of silence following his exit before Junior and Goldie looked at each other. Junior jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "I'll...go talk to Max." 

"I'll show them the guest room," Goldie replied, pointing to Ted and Booster. 

As Junior got up and left, Goldie turned to their guests and smiled. "Okay, so..." She shrugged helplessly and stood up, motioning for them to follow her. "Right. Guest room. Must be well-rested to hear the words of Captain Cryptic." 

---------------

"Who dares disturb the great and powerful OMAX?" a deep, synthesized voice demanded. On the nearby screen, the red pupil of a stylized eye glowed ominously. 

"Your favorite uncle come to see you about a man behind a curtain," Junior replied, covering a yawn with his hand. 

The picture zoomed out to reveal the same stylized eye set on the face of a silver-skinned brunette. "What's up?" Max asked, his voice still synthesized but not as deep. 

"I need any information you can get me on a Russian satellite with the serial number 4578 CCCP," Junior said. "Including location." 

The blue glow of Max's pupilless eye briefly flared. "Scanning," he reported. "Why the sudden interest?" 

Junior shrugged, his expression bewildered. "Dunno yet. Tell you more tomorrow." 

Max gave a brief hum of agreement, still staring at him. Junior was used to it, but many people found it disconcerting that the man's eyes didn't really move. "So how are you?" he asked. 

"Good," Junior said with a shrug, then grinned. "Saved the world earlier." 

"Yes, I heard," Max murmured distractedly. "Saw. Congratulations on the puppy, makes for good PR. Joker toxin out of your system?" 

"Only got enough to make me a little giddy," Junior assured him. "And I got a dose of antitoxin." 

"Good for you, now stop being dense and answer my question. How _are_ you?" 

Junior just cocked his head and smiled with innocent confusion. 

Sighing, Max bowed his head for a moment, then looked up again and leaned forward. "Look, I get _status reports_," he said in exasperation. "But that's all they _are_. Cut, dry, no details. So _tell me_, in your own, human, emotion-tainted words..._how are you_?" 

"You, ah...remember that time we snuck into the Watchtower?" Junior said slowly. 

Max frowned suspiciously. "Yeaaah?" 

A wide grin spread across Junior's face as he said, "Me too." 

Staring at him for a moment, Max suddenly grinned too. "You rat fink," he laughed. 

Junior chuckled and mimed knocking on his head. "Your little buggies are working, Max. I'm not even getting headaches anymore." 

"See, that's the kind of thing the nanites can't tell me," Max chided, shaking his head. "Keep me updated, huh?" 

"Will do," Junior mumbled around a yawn. 

"And get to bed, you need your beauty sleep. OMAX out." 

Junior chuckled. "'Night, Max." 

---------------

"And if you need anything, don't hesitate to try to find it yourself," Goldie told them cheerfully from the doorway. "Night night!" With that, she left, closing the door behind her. 

Ted looked at Booster. 

Booster looked at Ted. 

They both looked at the guest room's bed. 

Ted looked at Booster. 

Booster leered at Ted. 

"Did you suddenly magically become blond again and my eyes haven't caught up?" Ted asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Booster rolled his eyes. "You're just nervous." 

"To experience gay sex for the very first time?" Ted said sarcastically. "Now why would you think that? What possible reason could I have to be nervous about _that_? Why can't you just accept my stalling tactic at face value?" 

Snickering, Booster snagged Ted's arm and tugged him close. "Don't you trust me?" 

"Haven't we had that conversation before?" 

"And as I recall you were snarky and mean." Booster pouted at him. 

Ted grimaced and looked away from him. Booster's pout could be lethal; god help them if Junior inherited it. Sighing, he met Booster's eyes and said, "Fine. Booster, buddy, pal, mother of my child--" 

"Hey!" 

"Yes, I trust you. Happy?" 

"I could be happier," Booster said suggestively, wagging his eyebrows and grinning. 

"I'm sticking by my stalling tactic," Ted informed him sternly. 

Booster eyed him dubiously for a moment, then smirked. "In _quantum theory_," he started purposefully. 

"Dirty pool!" Ted protested. "That's not playing fair!" 

"Not playing, Ted," Booster informed him, sliding his arms around the man's waist. "Observation causes possible states to--" 

Ted groaned and pressed his mouth to Booster's to stop the flow of intellectualism. Booster had no objections to that and tightened his arms, working his hands under Ted's shirt. At the feeling of skin on skin, Ted broke the kiss and stared at Booster dazedly. 

"When we get home," he breathed. "Give me till then." 

Smiling, Booster nodded and pulled Ted close, nuzzling his neck. "I'll hold you to that." 

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Ted said wryly. 

---------------

Half asleep, Goldie floated back to full consciousness when she heard a sound at her door. Lifting herself up by her elbows, she peered through the dark at the pale figure in her doorway. 

"Can't sleep?" she asked. 

"No," Junior said quietly. She could see him fidget nervously. "Um...can I...?" 

Scooting over, Goldie flipped her covers open in invitation and laid back down. She could almost see the bright slash of his relieved grin as he walked closer and climbed in beside her. 

"Thanks, Goldie," he murmured, settling in next to her. 

His arm settled over her tank top-covered middle and as she moved the arm closest to him comfortably, she thought she recognized the feel of the pajamas she gave him last Christmas. The blue ones with the insect pattern on them that he had loved so much that he actually wore them to work the next day. 

"This is why you can't keep a girlfriend, you know," she said. 

Junior shifted sleepily, the beginnings of stubble brushing against her shoulder. "Hm?" 

"Nothin'," Goldie said, smiling up into the darkness as she petted his hair. "Go to sleep, babe." 

-----


	6. Chapter 5

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
--------------- 

**5th Chapter**  
_A question of time._  
-----

_Where is he? What nest does the Blue Beetle call home?_

"--cloudy tomorrow--"

"--new apartment--"

"--around the corner--"

"Keep going straight, you can't miss it."

---------------

It was getting late, but Junior wasn't worried yet. There were many things that could have held up his parents on their run to the store. Crowds, lines, shapechanging demons from the bowels of Hades, disruptions in the space-time continuum, any number of things.

He was checking the news during commercial breaks on the movie channel, in any case.

And he had called for take-out.

Which was why he didn't bother checking the peephole thingum before opening the door when he heard the knock. Though if either of his dads asked, he would blame his height.

What he found on the other side of the door was a man with no face. Junior's eyes darted over the man in search of take-out, just in case.

"You're not Ted," the man said flatly.

"You're not Take-Out Gary," Junior retorted. He liked Take-Out Gary. Take-Out Gary had interesting bits of metal on his face and sometimes told Junior knock-knock jokes.

"You know him," the man said slowly, cocking his head consideringly.

Junior wasn't sure what to say to that so he just said, "You're still not Take-Out Gary!"

"...No," the man agreed. "Where is Ted? I need to speak to him."

Junior almost said that his parents were at the store, but then it occurred to him that this was a stranger and according to TV strangers could be dangerous. So it might not be a good idea to let on that he was all alone until he could get his hands on a blunt object of the whacking variety. "They're close enough that if I screamed they'd be here in seconds to blast you into your component atoms," he replied cheerfully.

The man looked up, head slowly turning as if he were scanning the apartment with x-ray vision. "There's no one else here," he said impatiently. "When will Ted be _back_?"

"Who wants to know?" Junior demanded, a little worried by the certainty in the man's voice when he said there was no one else there. Maybe he really did have x-ray vision. That might be a bad thing, because even though Kon had x-ray vision and Kon was cool and his big brother mentor thing, so did Superman and Superman wasn't so cool and his dads weren't speaking to him.

The man seemed to consider that for a moment, tilting his head. "Good question," he said finally.

Junior blinked up at him in surprise. "I thought so."

The staring quality of the man's facelessness seemed to get a bit more stare-like and whereas before he had only been standing _over_ Junior, now he was downright _looming_. "Where. Is. Ted?"

"He's gone," came a voice from behind the man.

The man whirled around and to the side, body language screaming surprise and more than a little wariness. With him no longer blocking the doorway, Junior could see Max with his prototype hologram up. Except for the pale peach skin and the brown eyes that had been timed to blink at regular intervals, he looked the same. He also looked upset.

"Gone where?" the faceless man demanded.

"I don't _know_ where!" Max snapped. "Just _gone_. Not dead-gone or kidnapped-gone, _gone_-gone. As in Bug hasn't been making much sense except to say he's apparently stopped existing!" His eyes were wide and his skin was paler than usual, and Junior wondered if the hologram was set up to react to his thoughts. And if so, that was _seriously_ cool, and helped distract him a little from what Max was actually saying.

"I..." Max swallowed, arms wrapped around himself, and looked at Junior. "She screamed. I...I didn't even know she _could_ scream. I mean...I know she sends her voice through the comm to talk to me because I'm not used to talking..." He gestured vaguely toward his head with one hand. "But...she _screamed_. Skeets and I barely got her calmed down as much as we did."

"But...how'd she know?" Junior asked slowly, lowering an eyebrow in confusion.

Max stared at him for a moment, then said, "She planted nanites on him. I thought you knew."

---------------

"Look, it's like...it's like _blood_ to her. Some...family bond thing, I don't know. It's still new to me. Maybe in five, ten years I'll _get_ the intricacies of the life and mind of the AI, but for now I still think like a human. The nanites are her way of feeling connected to people. Me, Ted, maybe you. _Probably_ you. Because if we were all human and related the way we pretend to be, that's where the blood connections would be. I'm only adopted in the sense that I was originally born to someone else. As far as Bug's concerned, what I was was just the raw materials and the whole nanite thing and turning me into..._this_ was giving birth to me. Sort of a born-again thing without any pesky religion.

"Anyway, the difference is, the nanites send reports. Signals. Not...anything big, it's just sort of white noise, usually. Like hearing someone's voice in the other room, or you leaving that damn comm in your ear all the time. If she wanted to, Bug could find us no matter where we are. ...Well, as long as there's nothing interfering, like that giant EMP. But even then...it'd still _be_ there. _Somewhere_. But _now_...now the nanites in Ted aren't sending anything. Just bang! Gone. Like they never existed. And...when it happened, Bug flipped out."

"So...dad's gone?" Junior asked.

The three of them were sitting in the living room, movie channel long since turned off. The faceless man had finally introduced himself as Question and Max (shedding his hologram like a pair of too-tight shoes) said he'd heard of him. Some vigilante from Hub City. Apparently he'd worked with Blue Beetle before. Junior chose to assume that he was trustworthy since he knew his dad's real name.

Even so, he'd discreetly gotten out the metal baseball bat Ted used to hit Zombie Max with and hidden it nearby. Just in case.

Max stared at Junior for a second, then lowered his eyebrows and frowned. "No, I just explained all that for a laugh. He's actually waiting outside with an April Fools Day cake. Gosh, you're just too clever for us."

Junior made a face at him. "And he has _nanites_ in him?"

"I thought you _knew_!" Max said defensively. "Don't you trust me?"

Junior cocked his head thoughtfully, then smiled. "I'll trust you until you lie to me, Max."

Eyebrows furrowing, Max slowly said, "Okay..."

"So where's Bug? Is she okay?"

"Better," Max said with a shrug. "Worried. She and Skeets are contacting Oracle. I was supposed to make sure you knew what was going on."

"Where did the signal _stop_?" Question spoke up suddenly.

"What?"

"If the signal is constant, where was it when it stopped _being_ constant?" Question clarified, staring at Max.

For a brief moment, Junior wondered who would win a staring contest between the two of them and had to stifle a laugh. TV had led him to believe that it was generally frowned on to laugh while people were missing. But still, it was kind of funny. Question didn't appear to have eyes, and he'd noticed that Max didn't seem to blink anymore. He could move the little red pupil in his stylized eye enough to indicate he was rolling his eyes, but no blinking.

"That's...actually a good question," Max said, sounding surprised.

The blank stare somehow gave off the impression of smugness, though the voice was only wry. "Naturally."

---------------

_Where is your hero, Chicago?_

"Who do you mean?"

"--haven't seen him."

_Where is your azure-skinned champion?_

"--left me--"

"--gone--"

_Tell me where the bug man has gone, Second City._

"It was so bright--"

"--unnatural, if you ask me."

"--here today, gone tomorrow."

_**Tell me**, Chi-town. Where is the Blue Beetle? Where has he disappeared to, Windy City?_

"--know he's just next door, but it seems so far away--"

_Tell me._

"--hard to see that far--"

"--our future--"

"--who knows where I'll be in ten years--"

"--feels like he's still here--"

"--years go by so fast--"

"--staying with his son, so I wouldn't worry."

_Thank you, Checagou. Wild onion, mighty Hawk._

---------------

"What the hell's he doing?" Max hissed to Junior.

They stood off to the side, leaning against a building while the Question knelt by the exact patch of sidewalk that Max had declared to be the last known whereabouts of Ted Kord. After a question from Junior, he had added that there was probably a pretty good chance that Booster was wherever Ted had ended up. Now, the faceless man was silent and motionless, the fingers of one gloved hand pressed against the cement.

"...Communing?" Junior suggested, shrugging cluelessly.

"Look, I've been scanning for info on this guy and there's not much favorable press."

"If I listened to the press I'd think my dads were bumbling half-wits," Junior retorted, rolling his eyes. "Do _you_ have a better idea?"

"Better than communing with ground-in sidewalk gum?" Max crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "Not right now, but give me five minutes."

"Yet-to-come," Question spoke up suddenly, startling the two teens. He rose from his crouch and turned to them. "It feels like yet-to-come, of untapped potential." He turned his faceless gaze back to the patch of sidewalk. "He's been pulled into the future by a...very _familiar_ force."

Max raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Good question."

---------------

Question's mysteriously-acquired information was quickly relayed to Oracle, amid Max's claims of an informant by the name of Bazooka Joe, and she said she had some leads she could look into. To which Question replied that time was of the essence, as well as casually mentioning that he wasn't welcome in Metropolis. Oracle was silent for a moment, then said that she would get back to them soon and closed the connection.

They had gotten back to the apartment by the time she contacted them again with news of an old satellite, doused in tachyons and neutrinos, that facilitated time travel.

"Bug thinks she can locate the nanites...in Ted, through the time field," Oracle informed them. "We just need a way to let them know to get close enough to the satellite in their current time to do so."

"Wake me when you think of something," Question said, then stretched out on the couch and promptly fell asleep.

Junior and Max stared at him for a long moment, then Max turned to Junior and said, "Dare you to poke his face."

"_Boys_," Oracle chided. "A little focus here."

They mumbled reluctant apologies and started brainstorming.

Question slept on undisturbed.

---------------

_He knew this place, and the Other. But not yet. _

_The space of a few yards spanned gaping years between them. He stayed where he was, though the space grew continuously smaller, barely perceptible. _

_"Where is Ted Kord?" _

_The Other spoke: "Here. Safe." _

_"Is Booster Gold with him?" _

_The Other spoke: "Yes." _

_"You're responsible." _

_The Other spoke: "It was a favor. And an accident." _

_"Sloppy." _

_The Other spoke: "Self-flagellation." _

_He tilted his head in acknowledgment. "There is a plan. A time travel satellite." _

_The Other spoke: "What a world." _

_Beneath his skin, he smirked. "One such." _

_The Other spoke: "Perhaps." _

_"What do you know?" _

_The Other spoke: "Nothing I can tell you. You'll know everything I do eventually." _

_"Hmn. Clever." _

_The Other spoke: "I thought so. But then perhaps I'm of two minds on the matter." _

_"Perhaps." Knowledge stretched between them, taking years and an instant to reach. "You have what you need?" _

_The Other spoke: "I'll pass it on." _

_"See you in a few years." _

_The Other spoke: "Barring paradox." _

_"Of course." _

_They nodded to each other and turned away, letting the ever-closing gap bear them away._

---------------

"If we could put a message somewhere we could be sure they'd find it--" Oracle was saying.

"The message has been sent and the plan is in motion," Question said abruptly, making Junior and Max jump in surprise. He sat up and gazed at them blankly. "Now we have to prepare. And wait."

-----


	7. Chapter 6

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**6th Chapter**  
_The best part of waking up._  
-----

Junior's eyes snapped open, awake instantly, and stared up at the ceiling as he tried to figure out what had woken him. Suddenly realizing what it was, he squinted irritably and frowned. 

Carefully extracting himself from Goldie's embrace, he paused to brush a kiss against her forehead before padding quietly from the room. 

As he entered the lab, he eyed the communication box with irritation. Finally sighing in resignation, he flopped into his chair and pressed the blinking light on the box. 

"Using your little buggies to wake me up is an abuse of power, you know," Junior groused, stifling a yawn. 

"I'll take that under advisement," Max replied dismissively as his face appeared on the nearby screen. "I've found pretty much everything I can on your satellite." 

Junior sat up with interest. "Yeah? Tell me about it." 

Lacing his fingers under his chin, Max smirked at him. "How's about _you_ tell _me_ why you're so interested in something that keeps popping up along with the keywords 'time travel' and 'top secret'." 

"Max," Junior sighed. "I _don't_ know anything. I'd tell you if I did, honest. Come over later, you can hear it when we do." 

Max grimaced and nodded. "Sure." Dropping one hand, he leaned his head against the other. "I'll tell you one thing though, I've got a fix on the location." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." There was an expression of distaste on his shiny face. "And guess who works for the company who has it?" 

"Well gosh, Max, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess not one of your most favorite people in the world?" 

"Carrie." 

Junior laughed. "Oh god, seriously?" 

"_Yes_," Max sneered. "And guess who I'm _not_ asking for help from, since you'll probably need to _get_ to this satellite." 

"Aw _Max_," Junior protested. 

Max shook his head. "This is _your_ wacky shenanigan, you ask for her security card." 

"Can't you just hack--" 

"No." 

Junior stared at him. "Are you...actually admitting you can't hack something?" 

"The security system's an _AI_, Jujubee," Max sighed. "It _thinks_. I can't take it on on it's home turf. Not like that, anyway." 

"Wow," Junior murmured. "They like their secrets." 

"Very much," Max agreed. "Make the call, I have things to do. Important things." 

"Bye, Max." 

The man abruptly disappeared from the screen and Junior shook his head in amusement. Digging his address book from under a pile of papers, he took a moment to rub the sleep from his eyes and yawn widely before entering the number on the touch-tone keys on the comm box. 

As it dialed, Junior pressed the button to transfer the telephone signal to his comm. When it picked up he smiled in amusement. "Hello, is Carrie there? Yes, thank you." 

An angry female voice came through and his smile widened. "Carrie! Hi. Listen, I need you to get ahold of a security pass to your place of employ for me. ...Yes I _know_ what you were in the middle of, you naughty girl." 

The female voice rose to a shriek and he fought not to laugh even as he winced at the volume. "My nephew is the OMAX, Carrie. He could put surveillance wherever I asked him to. ...Uh huh, love and kisses to you, too. Don't forget that security pass I--" 

He winced as the call cut off loudly, then snickered to himself. Several minutes later the comm box beeped at him to indicate an incoming call. Pressing the button to put it on speakerphone, not wanting a repeat of the painful volume in his comm, he cheerfully greeted, "Malebolge: we specialize in liars, frauds, and lingerie. How may I direct your call?" 

"You know you're a real bastard sometimes." 

Junior grinned, recognizing the voice. "Quite frequently, being born out of wedlock. Something _amiss_, Max?" 

"You sicced _that woman_ on me!" Max hissed. "Now I'll probably have to go over and do a sweep just to convince her I don't have her bugged. Blue, you _know_ I don't invade people's privacy like that." 

"And I suppose I hallucinated that camera I found in the lamp?" 

There was a pause before Max said, "You're family, you don't count as 'people'. You I watch twenty-four/seven." 

"Not in the shower, I hope." 

"No, those I just sell to the highest bidder." 

"Will I be seeing a cut of that?" Junior asked, pursing his lips. 

"Stop singing in the shower and we'll talk." 

Junior grinned again. "_Ouch_, Max. You know that saying about hurting the ones you love?" 

"All's fair in love and business," Max countered. 

"Touche." 

"OMAX out," Max said with an audible smirk, ending the call. 

Sitting back, Junior rested his chin on a hand and smiled. 

---------------

Ted woke to a feeling he was becoming disturbingly familiar with. It was the feeling of being wrapped up in Booster and not minding in the slightest. It worried him, sometimes, how used to it he had become. 

Grimacing at the sluggish feeling in his brain and the fuzziness of his mouth, he tried to sit up. Booster made a quiet sound of protest and pressed closer to him. Freezing, Ted closed his eyes as he recognized another feeling that was becoming disturbingly familiar, and found himself both relieved and disappointed that he had worn his shirt and boxer shorts to bed. 

After a few moments of careful maneuvering, Ted managed to replace himself with his pillow in Booster's arms. Standing, he stretched and yawned before glancing back at the bed. 

There was something strangely endearing about the way Booster was snuggling against the pillow, face relaxed and innocent in sleep, subconsciously thinking it was Ted. A thin shaft of sunlight fell across the man's face and he shifted so it shone over his hair, turning the dull black strands golden once more. 

Ted's breath caught and he felt something clench in his chest. 

It didn't happen often, but sometimes it just _hit_ him. Hard. That was his best friend, who loved him and wanted him. Hell, they had a _son_ together. And if this future was any indication, they had a damn _legacy_ together. 

And the warm, scary, overwhelming feeling welling inside him was the reason he hadn't run far and fast the first time Booster kissed him. 

The urge to touch the man suddenly flowed through him and he was already reaching out before he realized what he was doing. His fingers hovered over Booster's cheekbone for a moment, then slowly retracted. Ted didn't want to risk waking him. 

Shaking his head, he told himself it wasn't regret he was feeling as he slipped from the room. 

---------------

The layout of the house hadn't changed any since yesterday, but Ted's brain was still foggy with sleep so it took him a confused moment to remember which direction the dining room was in. Standing in the doorway, he leaned against the frame as a jaw-cracking yawn escaped him. 

When he opened his eyes again, Junior was sitting at the table looking up at him with an amused smile. A bowl of cereal sat in front of him on the table. 

"Coffee should be ready in a bit," Junior said, raising a spoonful of what looked like raisin bran to his mouth. "I just put it on. There's...um, cereal in that cabinet over there. Milk's in the fridge. Ah...I think we have eggs, if you want. And there's bread. That's in the fridge too." He shrugged and put the spoon in his mouth. 

Mouth not yet awake, Ted made a sound that he hoped was interpreted as a thanks and shuffled over to the pantry. Inside, among various other boxes and bags of assorted dry foods, was a box of raisin bran and a box of cornflakes. Ted frowned at them, thoughts trickling into order. 

"Is this going to be a constant throughout your life?" he mumbled. 

"What?" Junior asked in confusion, spoon hovering over his bowl. "Breakfast?" 

Shaking his head, Ted grabbed the box of cornflakes and closed the pantry. "Nevermind." 

Junior shrugged and went back to his cereal, pausing to point Ted toward the bowls and spoons. That taken care of, they both ate in companionable silence. 

"So, uh, no offense," Junior said suddenly. "But what're you doing up this early? I mean, dad's usually up before you." 

Ted shrugged. "Last night w--" Startled by a sudden clattering sound, he looked up to find that Junior had dropped his spoon into his bowl. A splash of milk was dripping down his arm and he had a look of carefully cultivated blankness on his face. 

"Nevermind," he said, voice equally blank. "I...don't want to know what you were doing last night." 

Ted stared at him for a moment before understanding dawned and he snorted. Standing up, he swiped at his son's hair as he made his way to the coffeepot. "Wiseacre," he said affectionately. "I meant last night as in yesterday. I was going to say it was pretty tiring, what with being dragged into the future by our well-intentioned but misguided son." At his pointed look, Junior ducked his head and snickered. 

"Barely through the door and already there's snickering, that does not bode well." 

Ted almost dropped his coffee cup in shock. He knew that voice. He knew it very, very well. It had spoken the last words he'd heard before dying. 

_"**Join** me or **die** time, is that it?" _

"That's it **exactly**." 

Then one last spitting in the face of danger and... 

"Please don't try to kill me, it's annoying." 

Blinking back memories, Ted stared at the face of the man who killed him...and realized that in the course of his flashback he had picked up a knife off the counter. He didn't put it down. 

"He's right," Junior spoke up. "It makes him cranky and then Ron kicks him out and he comes to stay on our couch and be cranky at us. Annoying." 

Max frowned at Ted, looking put out. "Grampa Grudge, oh _how_ you've been missed." 

Junior snorted a laugh. "Oh man, I'd forgotten you used to call him that." 

Max cocked his head, then his pale skin shimmered into a gleaming silver. He spread his hands and gave Ted an impatient look with his mismatched eyes. "Better now?" 

Dropping the knife back on the counter with a jarring clatter, Ted drew a sharp breath. It was easy to forget, since Max had been de-aged and then further altered by Bug and Skeets, who he was. Max at fourteen and shiny was different enough from Max at middle-aged and skin-toned that he didn't usually register as a threat except peripherally. 

And he certainly didn't bear such a striking resemblance to a murderer. 

"Yeaaah look, can we deal with your trauma _later_?" Max said dismissively. "Or actually sooner, considering. Congratulations. Unlike some people, you get to have the certain knowledge that eventually you'll get the hell over it." With that he turned to Junior and pointed to the door. "I'm going to go wake Gold." 

"No monster face," Junior warned, turning back to his cereal. 

"She _loves_ monster face," Max argued smoothly. 

"You know how she is when she's being stubborn about an idea. I'd take her threats of castration seriously if I were you." 

Max winced and started out the door, pausing to glance back as Junior called his name. 

"I noticed you weren't surprised to see him," Junior enunciated, giving him a pointed look. 

"I'm practicing being unflappable." 

Junior raised an eyebrow. Max raised one back. 

"I'll find that camera," Junior said certainly. 

Max raised both eyebrows and smirked. "Have fun." 

---------------

Goldie's scream, and subsequent cursing at Max, suggested "monster face" had indeed made an appearance. It also woke Booster, who wandered into the dining room moments later with a worried, confused look on his face. A smile lit up his face when he caught sight of Ted and he dropped his head on the man's shoulder with a contented sigh. 

Junior's mouth started twitching like he was trying not to laugh and he headed out the door when Ted shot him an annoyed look. As soon as it shut behind him, Ted could hear him laughing quietly. 

Raising a hand, Ted poked Booster's shoulder until he lifted his head and kissed Ted's cheek. 

"There's food," Ted told him, listing the foods Junior had mentioned earlier. Booster just snatched Ted's empty bowl and poured some cornflakes from the box still on the counter. 

"Who screamed?" he finally asked, getting the milk out. 

"Goldie," Ted said, then cleared his throat. "_Max_ is here." 

"Hm?" 

"_Max_," Ted emphasized. When Booster didn't look up from his cereal, he added, "He looked a lot like he did when we first met." 

"You and him?" 

"_You_ and me," Ted clarified, sitting next to him at the table. "And...he also looked a lot like the last time I saw him alive. And adult." 

That got Booster's attention and he met Ted's eyes with worried understanding. "Oh." 

"I think I wanted to stab him." 

Booster wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a sideways hug, resting his cheek against Ted's hair. "You didn't, though." There was silence for a moment before he said, "No really. You didn't, right?" 

"I'm not sure it would take," Ted said thoughtfully, lowering an eyebrow. "He's more machine than man now." 

After a moment, Booster started snickering. Ted elbowed him and the snicker became a full-blown laugh, jostling Ted until Booster turned and wrapped both arms around him. 

"I'm glad my trauma is so amusing," Ted griped half-heartedly. 

"Yes, your pain and suffering brings me great enjoyment," Booster chuckled, pressing a kiss to his temple. 

"Has the tinman returned to Oz?" 

They both jumped in surprise at the even voice, rising to their feet and whirling to face... 

"Question!" Ted slowly relaxed, setting a comforting hand on Booster's arm. "You're back. What are--Wait, what?" 

"The metal man with a hollow businessman heart," Question murmured, closing the outside door behind him. 

"Max went thataway," Ted said, jerking a thumb over his shoulder toward the door that led to the rest of the house. 

"Is Oz here or...wherever he lives?" Booster glanced at Ted in confusion. "Did you find out where he lives while you were threatening stabbing?" 

Ted shrugged. "I think he's got a roommate named Ron." 

"Roommate?" 

"I'd rather not speculate." 

Question cocked his head. "Good to see again. Two of one mind, give and take of years' familiarity." Straightening, he strode past them. "Questions have answers in the light of day." 

As he disappeared through the door, Ted and Booster stared after him for a moment before looking at each other. 

"So..." Booster said slowly. "Sociopath, huh?" 

"Kinda, yeah." Ted shrugged. "Won't be the first time we've followed one." 

"True. ...Probably won't be the last." 

Quirking a smile, Ted motioned toward the door with a sweeping gesture. "Follow the yellow brick road." 

"Age before beauty," Booster countered, smirking. 

Ted raised an eyebrow. "With _that_ hair?" 

"_Again_ with the hair!" 

Chuckling, Ted shoved him toward the door. "Hustle your buns, beauty." 

"Sure, gramps." 

-----


	8. Chapter 7

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
Other canon observed: _Birds of Prey_ issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**7th Chapter**  
_The part of Captain Exposition tonight will be played by Max._  
-----

"You're probably wondering why I gathered you all here today," the Question intoned, arms clasped loosely behind his back. 

"Does it have anything to do with that time travel satellite I was up all night researching?" Max spoke up flatly. 

They were all gathered in the living room, waiting to hear the Question's master plan. Question was pacing in front of them. Junior and Goldie had sprawled over each other on the couch while Max sat on the end furthest from them and tried to avoid random limbs, and not so random limbs when Goldie tried to get back at him for earlier "monster face" by poking him with her bare foot. Booster and Ted had both tried for the same chair and neither seemed interested in giving it up to the other despite the fact that there was another chair right next to it, so they had briefly fought over it and then subsided into just occasionally shoving each other. 

"Aw, don't spoil the ending you putz," Goldie protested, shoving Max's shoulder with her toes. 

"Can I help it if it's so obvious?" 

"I'll bet you told people about Vader being Luke's dad." 

"He told me," Junior piped up, raising his hand a little. 

"You already knew!" Max protested, batting away Goldie's foot. 

"Well actually, I--" 

"You'd seen it three _times_!" At that, all three started arguing at once, amid various hand wavings and gestures. According to Junior, due to a technicality Max actually _had_ been the one to tell him about the Skywalker family tree. Max's position was that the movies were so old even dim-witted cave-dwelling chimps in countries that had never heard of _English_, much less George Lucas, knew that Darth Vader was Luke's father and it wasn't his fault that circumstances had somehow conspired to keep Junior from finding that out from the movie during one of his multiple viewings. Especially since Junior had been the one to show _Max_ the movies in the first place. 

Goldie was just arguing with Max out of principle and seemed content to keep poking the man while Junior made the relevant points. 

"It's all fun and games until someone loses an _eye_," Question berated calmly. 

Max turned his own inhuman eyes to the faceless man and glared. "That was unnecessarily personal." 

"But true." 

"Fine," Max said, shoving Goldie's foot before she could get her big toe in his ear. "Enlighten us." 

"Last night I spoke to myself--" 

"Somehow that doesn't shock me," Max muttered, but quickly subsided when Question turned to stare at him. 

"Preparations have been made in the past," Question continued. "Oracle is familiar with the process of extracting wayward travelers from an unfamiliar time and believes the same can be done here, with the satellite. Same principle, different direction." 

"Wait, you're talking about the Project Yesterday mission, right?" Max asked. "With Black Canary? I've read about that. The principles _aren't_ the same. Oracle guided Canary on a narrowcast frequency to make sure she entered the temporal field at the right time in order to get to...in order to _travel_ to the correct time." He motioned to Ted and Booster. "They don't have that. We don't have a way to communicate between the two times." 

"We don't, Ted does," Question corrected, turning to face the man. 

Realizing everyone was staring at him, Ted sat up and looked around in surprise. "What?" he protested. "I don't even have a cell phone on me." 

"No, you have something better. Your daughter saw fit to...strengthen the familial ties between you. Having no blood, she used what she _did_ have." 

Max's eyebrows rose. "_Nanites_," he breathed. "I can't believe I didn't think of that. I _knew_--" He shook his head. "So she'll communicate through the nanites and--" 

"Hang on!" Ted snapped. "Everyone seems to know a hell of a lot more about me than I do, here." 

"You've got nanites in you," Junior explained calmly, as if tiny robots in one's body were no big deal. "Bug put them there. Sharing blood, sharing nanites, it's..." He waved a hand and shrugged. "It's an AI thing." 

"I have _nanites_ in me?" 

"I thought he knew by now," Max murmured to Junior. 

"He didn't know." 

"When did he find out?" 

"Just now apparently." 

"Damn." 

"_Excuse_ me!" Ted interrupted irritably, swatting away Booster's hand. "Nanites. _In_ me. The same things that turned Max into...into _that?_" 

Max glowered at him. Ted glared back. 

"Maybe you should take this up with Bug when we get back," Booster suggested gently. "In the mean time, let's...you know, get back." 

Ted crossed his arms over his chest and frowned, but nodded. 

Junior cleared his throat. "So the plan is, we get the satellite, Bug tells us through the you-know-whats when they can go home, they go home, and _we_ all go out for ice cream in celebration of a job well done?" 

Question nodded. "Yes." 

"I like this plan," Junior said. 

"But where's the wacky shenanigans?" Goldie asked wistfully. "The hijinks? The _tomfoolery_?" 

"That would probably be the _getting_ the satellite part," Max enunciated. He looked at Question. "My turn now?" 

When Question inclined his head and sat down in the unoccupied chair, Max stood and took his place. "The Russian satellite 4578 CCCP, once upon a time, took a little trip around the sun. When it came back, it was covered in magic space particles like tachyons and neutrinos that made it possible for living, organic tissue to travel from one time to another. Since there wasn't any way to choose your destination, it was, at best, a flawed method of such travel. At worst...well, has anyone heard of the Lake Mackachitahoo Monster? So naturally the government decided to play with it. This resulted in the formation of--" 

"Is there a point to this?" Booster asked boredly. 

"It's _backstory_," Max replied, frowning in annoyance. "And means I won't have to answer a bunch of stupid questions later, provided you're paying attention. _May_ I continue?" 

Booster waved a hand and Max straightened. "Right. This resulted in the formation of Project Yesterday, which turned out to be a resounding _failure_ when the late, great supervillainess _Cheshire_ made a sudden, unexpected appearance from the time field and massacred almost the entire Project Yesterday team. Which is when Oracle and Black Canary were called in, to go back in time to extract the previously stranded Ravens: Pistolera, Vicious, and Cheshire--yes I _know_ she was already in the present then, but she was also in the past and apparently the higher ups at Star Labs were stupid enough to think they could prevent the wholesale slaughter of their project, despite what Professor Orenstein told them about paradox and causality and it generally being moronic to try to stop something that had already happened. Canary went to the past, Oracle stayed in the present and communicated with her through the receiver/transmitter Canary was wearing to coordinate when they should enter the time field, and once the window was open they just walked up to the satellite and they were home. 

"After that things get a little less well-documented. The satellite changed hands several times over, left the country on at least one occasion, and may have been used with or without any number of goverments' sanctions. _Currently_ it's in the US being held by an organization with, at best, morally ambiguous intentions for it. Unfortunately, they also have a legitimate business as a very well-established and widely-accepted _front_. They even have a few, very few, government contracts." Max raised an eyebrow. "What that means for _us_ is that we can't just call them up and politely request the use of their time travel satellite for the afternoon. And it would look bad for us if we broke in and stole it. They might even feel confident enough to call in some heroes to stop us. 

"Not only that, but the security system is an AI and I can't hack it. I could probably take it out if I had physical access to it, but trying to take it on digitally would be entirely too risky." 

"What, it'd give you a nasty virus?" Ted asked darkly. 

"You ever been _lobotomized_, gramps?" Max snapped. 

"Does a bullet to the _brain_ count?" 

Max growled in frustrated irritation. "I wouldn't know, I've never _shot_ anyone." 

Jumping to his feet, Ted stalked up to Max and poked him in the chest. "Like hell you haven't! I remember--" 

"That _wasn't me!_" Max shouted, shoving him back. "That was some _meat puppet_ with a psychotic Bat program pulling its strings! Maybe _you_ remember, but I _don't_. I've _seen_ the footage! I've _heard_ the stories! I _have_ no memories of it!" 

They stared at each other for a long, charged moment, seething. Finally, Ted spoke, his voice quiet and strangled, "Well I do. I remember _all_ of it." 

"Then that's _your_ burden to bear. Mine is to keep being blamed for...the sins of the father, as it were. So go ahead and hate me for something I didn't do. It makes no difference to me, I want you gone either way. You _will_ eventually get over it, and I prefer that Ted Kord over _you_ any day." 

Ted started in surprise as Booster dropped a hand onto his shoulder from behind, then glanced back at the man. Tugging his arm, Booster silently led Ted out of the living room and back to the room they had slept in, closing the door behind them. After a few moments, those still assembled heard a muffled sob. 

"Let's take a break," Max whispered, swallowing as he stared down at his feet. "Jujubee, can I borrow..." 

Junior nodded and motioned with his head toward the door of his lab. "Go ahead, call Ron." 

Without another word, Max left. 

A moment later, Question murmured solemnly, "Bleed the wound to heal the infection." 

Leaning his head against Goldie's shoulder as they hugged loosely, Junior sighed, "Yeah, but it still hurts." 

"That's how you know it's working." 

---------------

Booster had known about the nightmares, it was hard not to when he shared a bed with the man, so he knew it was still on Ted's mind. When pressed, Ted had admitted he remembered everything up to and including his death. He remembered the horror, fear, and betrayal of realizing that one of his oldest friends had been orchestrating a vast conspiracy designed to keep track of and potentially hurt other people he considered friends. That one of his oldest friends was _already_ responsible for hurting another of his oldest friends. Was responsible for a lot of things. 

Ted remembered fighting for his life, knowing he was going to die, and making a last stand. 

He remembered Max's face as he pulled the trigger. 

Booster had thought Ted was dealing with it. Apparently he hadn't been. 

So now Booster had his arms full of a shuddering Ted, crying on his shoulder and speaking in starts and stutters of broken sentences. Ted was clinging to him like he expected Booster to disappear any minute, and all Booster could do was hold him and make soothing sounds as the man slowly wound down. 

After a while Ted finally seemed to calm, leaning against Booster and sniffling as the man gently rocked him. Ted loosened his grip a little and shifted his head, fitting his nose against Booster's collarbone. 

"Didn't make sense," he whispered, voice rough from his tears. "He was...he was our friend. And he... I wanted to believe it was a joke. A horrible, cruel _joke_." 

"Shh...I know," Booster murmured, stroking Ted's hair. 

Ted sniffed and gave a choked laugh. "He...he said he thought it'd be me or Batman who figured it out. But...his money was on me." Another small sob escaped him and he shuddered. "How's that for fair? The...murdering, criminal mastermind bad guy had more faith in me than..." He lifted his head to stare at Booster bleakly. "Everyone." 

"I believed you," Booster said quietly, cupping Ted's cheek with one hand and wiping at the tears with his thumb. "I still believe in you. You're the smartest guy I know, Ted." He paused, then smiled tentatively. "Except Batman, but he's a dick." 

That startled a laugh from Ted. "He is," he agreed, a wobbly smile tugging at his lips. "He really, really is. Why'd we ever like that guy?" 

Booster grinned. "Because we thought he was cool. All...dark...and mysterious. And...professional." 

"But no fun." 

Leaning his forehead against Ted's, Booster moved his hand to cup the back of the man's head. "Not any," he said. "You're way more fun." 

"You're just saying that 'cause you want in my pants," Ted murmured teasingly. 

Booster snickered. "No, I'm saying it because it's true. I want in your _pants_ because you're _hot_." 

"Hotter than Batman?" 

"No contest." 

Ted smiled wryly. "Now I know you're just saying that." 

"No," Booster said solemnly. "I'm not. He never smiles, Ted. You...you have a really nice smile." 

"...Oh." 

When Booster kissed him, Ted tasted like tears. But he felt like he was smiling. 

---------------

"Do robots cry electric tears?" 

Max snorted and smiled in spite of himself, staring unblinkingly at the rectangular head on the screen. "Didn't I hear somewhere that you used to be a boot-licking lackey?" he asked. "What changed, L-Ron?" 

"It was minimum wage and a silly paper hat that broke me, as I recall," the robot replied. 

"Ah for those halcyon days," Max sighed with mock wistfulness. "When men were men and minions did your bidding." 

"You have minions?" 

"I regret missing the Eighties, Ronnie," Max continued as if the robot hadn't spoken. "I think I really could've made it." 

"Not really." 

"I could've _been_ somebody," Max insisted. 

"A heartless, blood-sucking conman with little regard for his fellow being?" 

"People would've _listened_ to me!" 

"I wonder what that's like." 

Sitting back in the chair, Max cupped his chin and stared off into the distance thoughtfully. After a while he said quietly, "He really, really hates me." 

"He hates someone who looks like you." 

Max turned to once again face the screen, leaning an elbow on the table. "Someone I _was_." 

"That's debatable." 

"Debate requires a willingness to listen to logic and reason." 

"He'll have to," L-Ron pointed out, tilting his head. "You're working together, aren't you?" 

Max groaned and buried his face in his hands. "What have I gotten myself into?" 

"A wacky shenanigan, from the sound of things." 

Lifting his head, Max grimaced at the robot. "Clearly I've fallen victim to the madness that no doubt runs in this family." 

"Or you're secretly an adrenaline junkie." 

Max sniffed and lifted his nose indignantly. "Please," he sneered. 

"I've seen the way you grin when you're hacking classified information." 

"Not even _remotely_ the same." 

"Of course not," L-Ron agreed easily. 

"It's not!" Max protested. "And anyway we're getting off the subject." 

"_Folie à famille_?" 

"Yes, funny, my entire family is insane." Max shook his head. "You know, if this plan of Junior's actually works...it'll be nice to see Grampa Ted again. Not this..." 

"Angry man probably overwhelmed getting used to being alive again who's suddenly come face to face with a sobering reminder that he was murdered by someone wearing the face of a friend?" 

Max frowned irritably at him. "Aren't you supposed to be taking my side?" 

"Just trying to put things in perspective." 

"Yeah," Max sighed. "Fine, he has every right to be angry at the crap he's gone through. I just wish he'd focus that anger on something more productive than hating _me_. ...Like hating the old Batman. It worked for Booster." 

L-Ron tilted his head. "You're suggesting a course of action endorsed by Booster Gold?" 

"Stop being right, it's annoying." 

"I shall endeavor to do so, your sulkiness." 

Max snorted and shook his head, smiling. "We should have these little heart-to-hearts more often, L-Ron," he said sarcastically, a hint of affection in his synthesized voice. "You know how I look forward to them." 

"Always happy to help, my shining hour." 

---------------

"Tim!" Junior greeted happily, as he opened the front door. "What brings you to our little corner of the world?" 

"I wanted to apologize for earlier," the dark-haired man said, entering as Junior motioned him inside. "But I _am_ worried about you." 

"Aw, that's sweet of you. You're a nice guy, Tim. Why, just the other day I was saying to Goldie, 'We should invite that nice Timmy fellow over for a hot, sweaty threesome.'" 

Tim just stared at him firmly and after a moment Junior furrowed his brow and pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Not even a smile? Wow, you _must_ be worried. Or I'm losing my touch." He sighed and placed his hands on his hips. "Tim, there's nothing to worry about. I'm perfectly fine. It's _Goldie_ you should worry about, she had a building fall on her yesterday." 

"I don't mean physically, and I don't mean the fight. Blue, I'm worried about your _mind_." Tim raised a hand. "Your behavior's been erratic ever since Ted and Booster--And then this obsessive quest to _find_ them. I'm just concerned for your sanity." 

"I am _perfectly_ sane," Junior said firmly. "I have a certificate and everything." He beamed. "Wanna see? It's..." He frowned, looking around. "It's around here somewhere." 

Tim hung his head, letting out a frustrated breath. "No, I don't want to see your certificate." 

"Are you sure? It's really nice. Thick paper, a stamp--" 

"I'm _sure_," Tim insisted. "Look, I know this has been hard on you--" 

"I don't mind, really," Junior said, shaking his head. "And I really think I'm on to something that'll make everything better." 

"Junior, people don't _get_ better from being _vaporized_!" Tim snapped finally. 

"Uh, is this a bad time?" 

Both men turned to see Booster standing in the doorway with a curious expression on his face. Junior glanced over at Tim, who was staring in disbelief, and grinned. 

"Tim, this is my dad. Dad, this is Tim," Junior introduced, motioning between the two. 

"Ah, we were getting ready to start planning," Booster said. 

"Great!" Looping an arm with Tim's, Junior tugged the man toward the door. "Come in to my parlor," he invited. 

-----

(Because no doubt someone will wonder, _folie à famille_ is similar to _folie à deux_, "a madness shared by two," and actually refers to the whole family. So "a madness shared by family." It's a real term, I didn't make it up.) 


	9. Chapter 8

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
Other canon observed: _Birds of Prey_ issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**8th Chapter**  
_Plotting, for great justice!_  
-----

"Now explain to me the part where you thought it was a good idea to destroy the space-time continuum." 

"Unravel," Junior corrected. "We decided I was unraveling it. Sounds less...um...sounds more harmless. Like 'oh no, the multiverse is unraveling, better stitch it back up'. Whereas 'destroy' kinda implies..._not_ fixable." 

"Yes, I can see how that makes all the difference," Tim deadpanned. "And yet somehow it doesn't speak well for your mental health." 

When Junior had brought Tim into the living room, Goldie had immediately squealed "Timmy!" and rushed over to loop her arm through Tim's free arm. Together, she and Junior had sandwiched Tim between them on the couch and snuggled up against him while Tim's expression wavered between amused and awkward. Then Junior and Goldie had cheerfully babbled explanations of what had been going on lately. 

Max, meanwhile, was leaning forward against the back of the couch, looking like he was trying not to laugh at them. Ted had once again settled in one of the chairs, while Booster chose to perch on the arm of it rather than fight him for the seat. Over in the other chair, Question gave all appearances of having fallen asleep behind his mask. 

"I _have_ a _certificate_," Junior protested indignantly. 

Tim closed his eyes and looked like he might be mentally counting to ten. "That's generally not a big selling point," he muttered. 

"They're out there! Question felt it too!" Opening his eyes, Tim stared at him pointedly and Junior slumped a little. "Well they are. And he did. They weren't vaporized, they were _transported_. There were strange readings all over the place!" 

"They weren't all over the place, they were in a very small, localized area," Tim countered. "And it was just a result of the unknown element used to power the machine." 

"Which I _could_ have examined if everyone weren't so smash-happy," Junior said peevishly. 

"The point remains," Tim replied firmly. "Look, you'd just been released from a mental institution--" 

"You were in a _what_?" Ted blurted. 

"_Which_ wasn't my fault!" Junior snapped, sitting up and waving a hand in agitation at Tim. "And anyway you're one to talk, Mister Obsessive-Compulsive. I asked and Dr. Kevorkian said OCD is a legitimate psychiatric disorder." 

"There was no Dr. Kevorkian," Max pointed out. 

Junior turned to frown at him. "Really? What about Mengele?" 

"Nope." 

"Huh, I thought for sure there was a Mengele. I'm hungry." 

"No you're not, it's psychosomatic," Max said reasonably. 

"Well...there _should_ be snacks," Junior insisted, fidgeting. "With all this company." 

"Your parents already ate this morning and Tim's not hungry," Goldie pointed out. "Besides, you sure didn't mind letting _Andy_ comfort you after your 'harrowing ordeal'." 

Max snorted and Junior shot a glare at him. "That's not--That's not even _relevant_." 

"Who's Andy?" Ted asked suddenly. 

Junior rolled his eyes. "My ex." 

"Ex...?" 

"Oh, we dated," Junior said, leaning forward on the couch. "Not...But we broke up. A little while ago." 

An odd look crossed Ted's face and he looked like he was carefully choosing his next words. "So Andy is...?" 

Junior quirked his eyebrows in confusion. "I already said. We dated." 

"Oh for the love of--He's trying to ask if you're _gay_," Goldie laughed, then turned to flash a grin at Ted. "Junior isn't anything. Andy's a meta, with the power to change gender. Male, female, androgynous, and...that creepy thing that doesn't look like either." She gestured vaguely, glancing at Max for confirmation, then shrugged. "Andy, Androgenie--" 

"Pat," Junior added absently. 

"Andy's also got this...pheromone thing. Encourages people to do what Andy says, or get chatty. Not very useful during a fight, but aces for interrogation." 

"Recent evidence suggests there might be some empathic or telepathic element to Andy's powers of suggestion," Max remarked. 

"I hadn't heard that," Tim said, looking up at him. 

Max shrugged. "No official tests have been conducted yet." 

"So yeah, not gay." Goldie smirked, snuggling against Tim's shoulder. "And there's that computer he dated." 

"_Computer_?" Ted asked, looking like he thought he had heard wrong. 

"Mefta was an alien artificial intelligence, and we weren't dating," Junior protested. 

"Which is why it kept calling you 'Booboo'?" Goldie asked sweetly. 

Junior blushed. "Mefta wasn't an 'it'," he mumbled. 

Meeting Ted's eyes, Booster mouthed "Booboo?" Ted shrugged with equal bewilderment. 

"Then there was _Pulsar_." 

"I--Okay yeah," he said with a reminiscent smile. "Those eyes, that body...let me use his employee discount for those books..." 

"What's-her-name at Star Labs," Max spoke up. 

"Maggie!" Junior defended. "She has a _name_." 

"Cassandra," Tim added, trying not to smile. 

Goldie choked, then burst out laughing. "You dated--He dated--?" 

"'Dated' is perhaps overstating it," Tim murmured. 

Junior cleared his throat, ducking his head. "Could we maybe get back to the plotting of wacky shenanigans instead of talking about my mental health and/or love life in front of my parents. And maybe not bring it up around them again, past, present, or future? Like, ever?" Then he stood up and headed for the kitchen. 

Catching Junior's arm as he passed, Max asked, "Where are you going?" 

"Snacks," Junior replied, raising his eyebrows like it should be obvious. 

With a sigh, Max let go of his arm and Junior left in search of snacks. 

"Is...he okay?" Booster asked, lowering his voice. 

"...Mistakes were made," Tim muttered. 

"_That's_ putting it diplomatically," Goldie scoffed, then waved a hand negligently. "Blue's fine. Bounces back better than Luke and Ralphie combined. Plus he got a shiny piece of paper to hang on the wall out of the deal." 

"Can you imagine?" Max asked thoughtfully. 

"Well he was showing the damn thing off to everyone when he got it." 

Max grimaced. "No, not the paper, I mean Luke and Ralphie combined." 

"Oh _ew_." Goldie wrinkled her nose and made a face at him. 

"I thought you _liked_ raisins," Junior said from the doorway, holding up a box in confusion. 

"Not the raisins," Goldie assured him. "Luke and Ralphie." 

Settling back on the couch next to Tim, Junior dug through the box. "What about 'em?" 

"Combined," said Max. 

"Creepy. Raisins?" He held out the box and looked around, but no one took him up on the offer. Shrugging, Junior munched happily. "Don't we have a break-in to plan?" 

"Actually, I think it would be best if we made it _theft_," Max said slowly. "L-Ron continued running my scans while I've been here and there's a memo circulating about the satellite. Seems we're not the only ones interested in using it." 

"Aaand that's a bad thing," Goldie prompted. 

"Extremely. Unless you're particularly interested in seeing what they can do with...say, live dinosaurs." Striding from behind the couch to stand in front of the group, Max crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "It's more than that, actually. We're not sure yet _what_ they're planning to do, but there's been an increase in computer simulations run. And guess what those simulations are about." 

"Tetris?" Question suddenly asked, startling everyone. 

"Ha. No. Historical events." Giving them all a level look, Max said, "They're trying to find a way to change the past for their benefit." 

---------------

"So now the plan is, we _steal_ the satellite and find somewhere secure to put it, we give finding _my_ parents another go using my parents from the _past_ to locate them, then we send my past parents home with the satellite. And we go out for ice cream." 

"Again with the ice cream," Goldie remarked. 

Junior shrugged. "I crave raisin ripple." 

Making a face, Max muttered, "I don't know how you can stand to eat that stuff." 

"Oh what do you know?" Junior dismissed. "You've never even tried it." 

"No, but it _looks_ toxic." 

"And you look like you should be given out at award ceremonies, but I don't _say_ anything." 

"I can't help you in any official capacity," Tim spoke up suddenly. "But...I agree with you that it would be safer, for everyone, if the satellite weren't in the hands of people seeking to use it for personal gain." 

"So you believe us?" Junior asked, a hint of hopefulness in his voice. 

"The OMAX's research is rarely wrong," Tim said wryly. "If there's anything I _can_ do, unofficially, to help..." 

"Actually, there is," Max said thoughtfully, cupping his chin as he slowly circled Goldie. 

"What?" Goldie demanded, trying to follow his progress without turning in circles. "_What!_" 

"We'll need to get in through the front door," Max said decisively, stopping to look up at Tim. "With Carrie's security pass. Junior's not pretty enough--" 

"And Max would set off the metal detector," Junior added with a smirk. 

"And I won't even suggest Larry, Moe, and Curly over there." 

"Hey!" Ted and Booster said indignantly. Question just tilted his head and gave the impression that he was above being insulted. 

"Goldie on the other hand stands out by virtue of her chromosomes." Max shoved the startled woman at Tim, who caught her easily. "You're good at disguises. Make her pass as a short, red-haired harpy." 

"She's not a harpy," Junior murmured, amused. 

"No, you're right," Max agreed musingly. "She's downright _catty_." 

Goldie snorted. "That was bad, Max. Direct-to-DVD bad." Turning to Tim, she tossed her short hair and threw her arms around his neck. In a low, sultry voice she said, "Let's go make me a woman." 

---------------

Max emerged from the rooftop access stairwell looking shaken and pale. As he caught hold of Bug's skywire and was pulled up to the cloud and stealth technology cloaked airship, his human hologram slid away, leaving him looking shaken and shiny. 

Climbing smoothly up through the hatch, he looked up and suddenly found himself face to face with the very red-haired nightmare he thought he had just escaped. 

"YAH!" Max cried, falling back on his rear. 

"I'll take that as a ringing endorsement," the woman said with Goldie's voice. 

Max scowled at her. "Don't you have a _paperbag_ you could be wearing?" 

Bending over, Goldie reached out and pinched his cheek, grinning. "Aw, diddums get a fright?" 

"I _got_ your damn security pass," Max snapped, swatting her hand away. "And you can _choke_ on it. Lay off." 

"Toldja he'd be cranky," Goldie called toward the cockpit. 

"Yes, dear," Junior called back. "You know all, you see all, I am but a cockroach dropping in your path." 

"And don't you forget it, sweetums." Goldie glanced back at Max and offered him a hand up, which he knocked away irritably. She shrugged as he rose to his feet on his own. "Sooo? Ya get me a present?" 

Max lifted a middle finger at her, then twitched his hand so that a plastic card appeared alongside the finger. "I went through a lot to get this," he told her sternly. "Guard it with your life." 

Snatching the card with one hand, Goldie settled a pair of rectangular green-tinted glasses on her face with the other. She held the card up next to her head and mimicked the awkward, forced smile on the tiny photo. "As if it were my very own testicles on the line, Maxie." 

Max shuddered. "You joke _now_," he muttered, flopping onto a bench nestled into the side of the airship. 

Setting a hand on Max's shoulder, Goldie looked over the green glasses at him solemnly. "You did a very brave thing," she said. "And I just wish..." 

"What?" Max asked suspiciously. 

"That I had a picture of your face when you saw me!" Goldie burst out laughing, dropping her hand from his shoulder to wrap her arms around her middle. "It was _priceless_!" 

"Don't make me mess up your disguise," Max growled. 

---------------

In the front of the airship, Junior sat in one seat while Ted sat in the other and Booster leaned over the back of Ted's chair. 

Shaking his head in amusement as he listened to Max and Goldie bicker, Junior turned to his parents from the past and beamed. "I really want to thank you guys for helping out, and agreeing to the...cosmic fishing expedition thing later, to find...well, my parents." He squinted and waved a hand. "I mean, not...well... Okay I know that, technically, like...because of...quantum whatever and temporal thingum, you're my parents. But not really, because you _were_ my parents, and--" 

Ted was biting his lip trying not to laugh and Booster had dropped his forehead to the top of the chair while his shoulders shook with silent mirth. 

"You know what?" Junior said with a chuckle and wry smile. "Forget it. Time travel's screwy. Just thanks." 

Ted patted his shoulder and smiled. "Any time." 

That set Booster off, his laughter no longer silent, and Ted grimaced as he realized his unintentional pun. 

Beaming at them again, Junior sat back in the seat as he flew Bug toward the coordinates Max had given them. "Let's go be naughty for justice." 

-----


	10. Chapter 9

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
Other canon observed: _Birds of Prey_ issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**9th Chapter**  
_They make this look good._  
-----

Over the years, Junior had learned many things from his parents. About life, about the universe, about everything. One of the things that Ted had taught him was that trying to idiot-proof a plan was generally an exercise in futility, and tempting fate to boot. 

So the plan was relatively simple, and relied heavily on each individual person performing their assigned tasks while at the same time being ready to improvise, using their best judgment, and keeping the others updated. Given the fluid nature of the plan and the high intelligence of those carrying it out, it should go off without a hitch. 

Junior had already prayed for Eris to bless their undertaking three times. 

---------------

The first phase of the plan was Goldie. 

Carrie conveniently worked for the security department of the very building they needed to get into. When the fortuitousness of that was mentioned, Junior had muttered something about serendipity, Littlewood's Law, and synchronicity, then seemed to be doing mental calculations. No one had questioned him on it. 

So Goldie had casually strolled down the hallway and flashed Carrie's ID at the disinterested guard on duty. After a cursory glance at her and the ID, he waved her over to the palm and retinal scans which, thanks to Tim's superior disguise skills, identified her as "Kelly, Carrie _SEC14_" without hesitation. The guard muttered a greeting as she passed and she muttered one back in a vague semblance of politeness. 

After getting past the security check, it was a simple matter for her to casually access a security terminal, load the virus Max had equipped her with, and then casually walk away to make an appearance at Carrie's rounds. 

Unnoticed, all the building's alarms silently started failing, falling like dominoes. 

---------------

Outside, Junior and Max stood beside a vent while Ted and Booster stood off to the side talking. The nearby security camera was set to show a loop of absolutely nothing and no one of interest in its field of vision. 

"Carrie mentioned a recent upgrade," Max remarked, staring at the camera with obvious boredom. 

Junior looked up from where he was squatting, observing a slow-moving beetle. "Upgrade?" 

"Mechanical arms down a few of the corridors, one of which you'll probably be using." 

Standing up, Junior cocked his head and scratched his ear. "Huh." 

"Just, so you know to look out for them." Max shrugged, then abruptly his head snapped around to focus on the vent. "She did it, alarm's disabled." 

"Go Goldie. You gonna scuttle?" 

"Yep." The vent's grill was off in seconds and Max stood back, tilting his head from side to side. 

Junior shook his head and grinned. "Why do you always do this?" 

"Gets the blood flowing." 

"You don't _have_ blood." 

Shaking out his arms, Max continued as if Junior hadn't spoken. "Heart pumping." 

"You don't have a _heart_." 

Max paused, glanced over his shoulder at Junior, then turned back to the vent. "You know what, Blue?" he said, dropping his hands to the ground and shifting until his spine and joints appeared to be doing things humans were not meant to do and giving him a slightly spider-like appearance. "Bite my shiny metal ass." With that, he climbed into the vent and scuttled away. 

Behind him, Junior leaned against the vent and quietly laughed. 

---------------

The next phase of the plan was Max. 

The ventilation system was connected to the room the AI security system's mainframe was housed in. One computer terminal, a backup generator, and the organized chaos of bundles of cords and wires giving it access to the entire building. 

It was into that room that Max silently dropped, after checking for any human staff. The cameras had already been set to loop the same boring image of a movement-free room. 

Rising from his crouch, he strode over to the door and disabled the lock. When a red-haired woman with green glasses darted inside, he recoiled before he could stop himself. The woman caught the movement and snorted, smirking a little. 

"Seriously, Max, you should see someone about that," Goldie drawled. "What took you so long?" 

"I'm on time," he replied irritably, closing the door behind her. "_Exactly._" 

Goldie raised her hands in defense and rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, I know better than to question the great OMAX's time-keeping skills." 

Making a face at her, Max waved toward the door. "Just guard the door, I don't need to worry about that too." 

Sarcastically saluting, Goldie leaned against the wall next to the door and started tugging her gloves on. Max ignored her and stood back from the mainframe to look it over. "It can't see us, right?" Goldie asked. 

"The cameras are its eyes," Max answered absently, moving toward a bundle of wires. "We haven't blinded it, we've done better. It is, essentially, _hallucinating_ that all is well." Reaching out, he lightly ran a hand over the bundle, then straightened and followed them to the back of the computer. "First order of business is to remove its voice box. _Then_ it'll start suspecting something." 

"Its _voice box_?" 

"Metaphorically speaking." Max shrugged. "Not a real voice box, not like I have or L-Ron has, or Mom and Dad. I don't think it _has_ any ability to speak out loud." With a jerk and a soft grunt, Max unplugged all the wires connecting the mainframe to anything except the backup generator. "And now it can't call for help." 

Goldie dropped her head back against the wall and stared up at the unseeing camera, making faces at it. "You keep calling this thing 'it', doesn't it have a name?" 

Moving around to stand in front of the terminal, Max glanced over his shoulder at her. "Not...really." 

Raising an eyebrow in interest, Goldie met his eyes. "Not really?" 

Max grimaced. "Look it...has something _like_ a name, but...not really in the human sense of the word and not...something that could really be _spoken_ with human sounds. The closest verbal equivalent I can get is..." His mouth was still open, but Goldie couldn't hear anything. She did, however, suddenly feel a creeping unease, a twisting squirm of fear in her gut that she usually associated with the supernatural or the sensation that someone was sneaking up on her. Then Max closed his mouth and the feeling dissipated just as quickly as it had come. 

"What was _that_?" she demanded, rubbing her arms to shoo away the goosebumps. 

"Infrasound," Max said, turning away from her to focus on the mainframe. "Frequency too low to be detected by the human ear. Often causes feelings of awe or fear, in this case fear. That was...the human equivalent of its name-thing." 

"Name-thing." 

Max made a frustrated sound. "It's not a real name, it doesn't _have_ one. No one bothered to _name_ the damn thing. What you heard and felt is the closest I could get to what it's like to feel it. It's like...AI telepathy. Touching the essence of another consciousness. It's _difficult_ to translate and put in terms you'll understand if you've never experienced it, okay?" 

"Oh." Goldie stared at him for a second, then waved her hand. "Okay, annoying questions over, carry on." 

Snorting, Max plunged his hands into the terminal, fingers melting into the surface. "Thank you," he said sarcastically, then his eyes flared brightly and a grin stretched across his face. "Hostile takeover in...five minutes. _Time me._" 

Smirking a little, Goldie obligingly checked her watch. 

---------------

It had been unanimously agreed that the last thing they wanted to do around people interested in time travel was announce the presence of two time travelers, so Ted and Booster had been outfitted with simple costumes. Both wore black suits of the same bulletproof material that Junior's costume was made of, both had comms, and, despite Booster's insistence that he just couldn't pull off the bug-eyed look, both were wearing spare yellow goggles. 

They looked ridiculous. 

However, they had also worn worse in their superhero careers, so they hadn't complained. Much. 

And with Max, clad in a black shirt and pants that were far too close to his Checkmate garb for Ted's comfort, on the inside with Goldie, they had wandered back over to Junior. Junior was humming. 

It was an odd, haunting tune and before he could stop himself Ted found himself asking, "How _long_ were you in a mental institution?" 

Junior looked up in surprise, then grinned. "You _do_ realize we could've been screwing with you, right?" he asked. "Like, everything we've told you could be complete bull." 

That hadn't, actually, occurred to either of them. 

"Um," said Booster. 

"Uh," said Ted. 

Booster furrowed his brow. "Why would you do that?" 

Junior laughed. "C'mon, dad, think about it. Sure there's bad stuff in this world, this 'future', but...for the most part it's pretty okay. So what would be the best way to keep you guys from changing things when you get back?" 

"Give us fake information," Booster replied, expression clearing. 

"Exactly!" Junior pointed at him. "And you have no way of knowing. Everything we've said could be true, it could all be a lie, it could be a mix. Maybe I was under psychiatric observation, maybe that certificate actually says 'crazy' and I broke out, maybe I've never set _foot_ in a shrink's office. Maybe I'm a horrible person who kicks puppies and steals candy from babies. Maybe I'm, like, a priest. A rabbi. A pope with a big shiny pope hat." He paused, cocking his head and smiling consideringly. "That would be _totally_ cool. I wonder if pope hats come in different colors..." 

"I'm sure you could dye it," Ted said, rolling his eyes, though the gesture was lost on the others because unlike Booster his goggles were opaque like Junior's. "So what you're saying is that you're purposely confusing us so we won't change the past and thereby change this future." 

Junior beamed at him. "Yep." 

"Good job," Booster praised him approvingly. 

"Well hey, who knows what kind of weird future this could become if you guys like tried to change things," Junior said modestly, grin widening. "Like, maybe the old Batman could have an army of mutants and idealistic youth with Carrie as his right hand, fighting against a totalitarian government. Maybe there could be a rise in meta heroes more interested in glory and taking down the bad guys than protecting ordinary people, resulting in the government dropping a nuke on an epic fight at a giant supervillain prison. Time's funny like that." He paused, then gave Ted a serious look. "Besides, you already knew who Tim was, didn't you?" 

Ted was silent for a moment, then grimaced and looked down. "Drake, Timothy. Robin in our time, presumably Batman in this one." 

"How--" Booster started. 

"Checkmate's files were...extensive," Ted said quietly, then gave Booster a wan smile as the man squeezed his shoulder. 

Junior nodded. "So we're pretty much covered. You already knew about Tim, and you don't have a clue what else is true." He grinned. "Unsettling, isn't it?" 

Booster snorted and Ted grinned back. Before either could say anything more, Max's voice crackled over the comms. 

"Security's down. Go for it." 

"I take it you won your little battle of wills," Junior asked cheerfully. 

"Blue, I can and _will_ blast the Mission Impossible theme through your comm." 

Junior just grinned at Ted and Booster. "Let's go." 

---------------

"They're on their way," Max announced, not looking up from the terminal. "Go ahead, I'll catch up." 

"Catch up?" 

"Their AI is defeated, _I'm_ the security system right now. I have access to _everything_." 

"Don't let the power go to your head," Goldie warned, grinning. "You know what they say." 

"Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely," Max replied. 

"And you know we'd take you down if you ever went all mad with power." 

"As it should be." Max glanced over his shoulder at her and smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He turned back to the terminal, eyes flaring briefly. "Okay, I'm sending Batman some of their more incriminating files, hopefully we won't get into _too_ much trouble now if someone gets a good look at us. And now I'm setting some of the building's functions so I can access them remotely. Lights, locks, things like that. But I still need to coordinate a few things from here, and you need to get into place. _Go._" 

Goldie held up her hands. "Alright, I'm going." 

"Wait! Take this with you." 

Catching the object Max tossed her way, Goldie looked it over curiously. It was a thin strip of metal and plastic and looked like something from a computer. "What is it?" she asked, holding it up. 

"The AI." 

"What!" Goldie yelped, holding the small strip away from her body. 

"Relax, it can't do anything," Max dismissed. "I downloaded it onto there, I want to study it later. It is _far_ too technologically advanced for them to have created themselves. I've seen their programming, this is lightyears ahead of it. Now babysit little Spooky and get going. Hurry hurry." 

"'Little Spooky'?" 

"Begone, shrew!" Max ordered the laughing Goldie as she hurried from the room. 

---------------

The third part of the plan was simply for Junior, Ted, and Booster to get in. 

With the security system being controlled by Max, it was easy for them to sneak in. It also meant one less obstacle for them once inside. However, there were still human security guards regularly patrolling the halls. 

Two of which decided to loiter in the middle of exactly the hall they needed to go down. Ted and Booster started around the corner they were observing from, hoping to take the guards down before they radioed for help, but were stopped as Junior put out an arm. 

"Do you know why we're in the Justice League?" he asked casually, then paused. "Well, actually it's because we held the Watchtower hostage until they voted us in, but that was a misunderstanding." 

Ted and Booster stared at him in disbelief. 

Smiling sheepishly, Junior shrugged. "Max told us that was our initiation. Anyway, do you know why we're _still_ in the League?" 

"Good dental plan?" Ted suggested. 

Junior grinned, then pulled out the odd gun holstered at his side and took aim. With two soft "fwt!" sounds, the guards suddenly had tiny darts sticking in them. Before they had time to question the sudden pain, they had fallen over, unconscious. Spinning the gun in his hand and reholstering it, Junior turned back to them, grin widening. "Because we're that good." 

Hurrying down the hallway, they paused at the end, which connected to a perpendicular hall. 

"Which way is--" Booster started, then stopped as Junior pointed down one corridor. "Got it. See you later!" 

"Give Goldie my love!" Junior replied cheerfully as the man ran off, then he and Ted started off in the opposite direction. 

"So did you really hold the Watchtower hostage?" Ted asked. 

The smile Junior flashed him was enigmatic. "You'll just have to find out with everyone else." 

---------------

"Psst! In here!" 

Booster whirled to find Goldie's head poking out from a door on his right that he had just passed. It wasn't labeled, so he didn't feel too bad about missing it. 

"He's here, Max," Goldie said as Booster closed the door behind him. "Now what are we looking for?" 

"There should be a metal box attached to the wall and a terminal with a cord plugged in," Max's voice came through both their comms. "Do you see them?" 

Max was right. The room was small and starkly bare except for a computer terminal in the back and a metal box attached to the right wall. A single cord snaked out from the terminal and plugged into the wall. 

"Yep," Goldie replied. 

"Okay open the metal box and tell me what you see." 

"I've got it," Booster told Goldie, walking over to examine the lock on the box. "Do you have a paperclip or something?" 

Goldie slapped the side of her pants, then dug through the pocket and triumphantly pulled out a paperclip. "Shiny thing," she said cheerfully, handing it over. "Like a magpie." 

Twisting the paperclip, Booster jammed it into the lock and started digging around. "What's a magpie?" 

"Um...a bird that collects shiny things," Goldie said slowly. 

"Oh." Giving the box's cover a jerk, it opened and Booster gave her a quick grin over his shoulder before turning back. "Max? There's a few buttons and a...like a lever." 

"Okay this is important now: Lever good, buttons bad. Don't touch _anything_ yet." 

Booster snatched his hand back from the contents of the box and awaited further instruction. 

"One of you needs to--Dammit!" 

"Max?" Goldie asked worriedly. 

"It's scheduled to make a routine check in about two minutes and it _will_ notice what's going on unless it's turned off. One of you needs to pull the lever at the same time the other pulls the plug." 

"How _much_ at the same time?" Booster asked. 

"How much--At the _same time_ at the same time. Simultaneously! What part of 'at the same time' isn't clear here? One _minute_, haul ass!" 

Booster and Goldie exchanged a quick look, then Goldie hurried over to the cord while Booster's hand hovered over the lever. 

"Count of three?" 

Nodding, Booster said, "Ready? One...two..._three_!" 

The lever went down right as the cord was unplugged and there was a long, breathless moment before Max spoke up again. "I'm reading no output from backup security. I'll assume you were successful." 

Booster and Goldie both breathed out and slumped in relief, then grinned at each other. As they met at the door, they high-fived before hurrying out. 

---------------

Getting to the satellite was relatively simple, with the occasional unexpected hiccup. 

"Forgot about the upgrades, did you?" Max asked snidely. 

"Shut _up_, Max!" Junior snapped, diving over one of the mechanical arms that had surprised him and Ted by suddenly shooting from the walls to attack them. "Is this helping? Is this somehow, in some way I'm just completely missing, is it helping? _Yes_, I forgot the Grey-cursed upgrades!" 

"I thought you took out security!" Ted complained, ducking and rolling to avoid two arms that swerved just in time to avoid hitting each other. 

"The arms aren't a normal function of the security system, they work independently," Max replied, just as the arms all suddenly seemed to jerk at the same time and started attacking each other, paying Ted and Junior no notice. In another part of the building, Max's face was a picture of smug satisfaction. "They are, however, still _connected_. God I love having my orders followed." 

The real problems didn't start until they actually _got_ to the satellite and, exchanging a look, Ted and Junior silently acknowledged that the plan had gone to hell. 

"Uh, Max?" 

"What? What's wrong?" 

Junior and Ted glanced at each other again, then returned to staring at the middle of the large room they had found themselves in. 

"Ah, the cat's out of the bag, so to speak," Junior said slowly. 

"What?" Max demanded irritably. "What the hell does that mean? What cat? Did you get caught?" 

"No, I mean the satellite." 

There was a pause before Max said, "It's...not in the insulated storage container? The one that keeps it from zapping anyone who gets close enough into another _time_. Like it _should_ be." 

Eyes fixed on the naked satellite, Junior replied, "Yep, that's about it." 

"...Well damn." 

-----


	11. Chapter 10

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
Other canon observed: _Birds of Prey_ issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**10th Chapter**  
_Continuing a proud tradition of running away._ OR _Run away! Run away run away!_  
-----

"Son of a _bitch_!" 

"You know that's not true," Junior said, almost by reflex. 

"...I wasn't talking about _you_, dumbass," Max snapped. "It was...insightful commentary about the situation." 

"Right, yes, very insightful," Ted replied. "Do you have any _other_ insight about the situation? Maybe something _useful_ this time?" 

"Look just...look around and see if you can find the storage container. I'll see what I can find in the system. OMAX out." 

There was silence for a moment before Ted said, "Okay, I'll look around for the container, you work out how to get that thing in it without any...zapping." 

"Waitwaitwait _what?_" Junior protested, putting a hand to his chest. "_Me?_ I'm sure I mentioned this isn't my area of expertise." 

Ted stared at him in disbelief. "No! As a matter of fact you _didn't_!" 

"'Quantum whatever and temporal thingum'!" 

"I thought you were _joking_!" 

"I was! I _know_ you're familiar with self-depreciating humor! Look, give me something that resembles an engine and I'll make it purr, roar, or freakin' _tap-dance_ for ya. I can whip up a batch of nerve toxin and calculate the rate of paralysis to the minute! But I _don't do temporal thingums_!" 

Ted stared at him for a moment. Then he reached for his communicator. "Plan B," he said, turning it on. "Booster? I need you for your brain." 

"I'm starting to think that's _all_ you need me for." 

"Really not the time, Booster." 

"Exactly what I was going to say. Unless phone sex on the job is your new kink. I mean--" 

"Booster, shut up," Ted interrupted, putting a hand over his goggles. "We found the satellite and it's not in the container it was supposed to be in, so we can't get close to it without playing time travel roulette. Any ideas?" 

In the thoughtful silence that followed, Junior looked at Ted and spread his hands questioningly. Ted shrugged in response. After a moment, Booster responded with, "It works on organic matter, right?" 

Ted hung his head and suppressed a sigh, rethinking the wisdom of asking for Booster's opinion. "Yes." 

"Sooo is _Max_ organic matter?" 

There was another silence as Ted stared at the floor in astonishment. "Booster, I--You--I...I can't wait to get home," he blurted out. 

"What? What do--Oh! _Oh._" 

Ted tapped the comm off before Booster could say anything else and looked up at Junior. "Call Max," he said. 

---------------

It was, of course, the exact moment that Max needed to get somewhere using the hallways that security decided to notice something was amiss. And of course, no one had bothered to mention that to Max. 

That was why he was running from three security guards who were calling for backup on the radios he hadn't been able to jam the frequencies of. He was also trying to decide if he should try to lose them, or if he should just lead them to exactly where he was headed and let Junior and Grampa Grudge help him sort things out. At this point, he was really ready to punch something. If there were several somethings determined to be around while he had that urge, then who was he to refuse such a generous offer? 

Then the point became moot as more security guards spilled from around a corner up ahead, blocking his path. Max skidded to a halt, glanced back over his shoulder as the first three closed in on him, and checked the long hallway for any vents he might have somehow missed but knew weren't actually there. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. 

So Max started running forward again and launched himself at the surprised, newly arrived security guards. One of the very few good things about being one person attacking a group was that all you had to worry about was hitting something, flailing wildly was for once an entirely acceptable, and even _effective_, strategy. 

Especially if you were a pissed-off man made of metal with somewhat more control over your body than someone with, say, bones. Or joints. Or squishy meat parts. 

The guards went down quickly in a flurry of fists, feet, knees, elbows, and one headbutt. Quickly enough that the first three guards hadn't reached him yet, so he decided to bring the fight to them. 

As he moved, Max silently cursed Junior and Goldie and their freakish, inexplicable obsession with, of all things, competitive _gymnastics_, that they watched on TV with popcorn and glazed expressions. They actually had _favorites_, they could quote stats, they willingly paid for the cable channels dedicated to obscure activities that claimed to be sports! 

His hate for them burned with the fire of a thousand suns. 

It was because of this freakish, inexplicable obsession that Max knew what he had just done was a cartwheel into a handstand. From there he had done the splits from that position, knocking out two guards who (stupidly) rushed him at the same time, and then a hand_spring_. Once his feet hit the ground again he did a somersault and prepared to lunge at the third guard. 

Then there were muffled banging sounds and a sudden, sharp feeling in his chest. Max stopped, abruptly, and brought a hand to his chest, slowly looking up to see the last remaining security guard pointing a gun at him. He had...The man had just _shot him_. 

Standing, Max knew what it probably looked like. His human hologram was up and was programmed to respond to outer and internal stimuli, so there were bullet holes in the image of a shirt that matched the bullet holes in the real shirt he was wearing. The man was just staring at his chest and Max was pretty sure he was waiting for the gush of blood that should be coming, _would_ be coming if he were really the human his hologram said he was. 

But Max didn't feel like adding that much verisimilitude, so the bullet holes were just vaguely reddish shadows that the eye didn't want to focus on. 

Max was having a bad day. There was the rehashing of a long-settled fight with Ted, having to do a surveillance sweep for show to get that red-haired harpy's security pass, having to fight a young and inexperienced AI that didn't know enough to be vicious on purpose but had apparently been trained in it by people who had better _pray_ Max never learned their identities, that damn satellite not being where it was supposed to be, this whole _stupid_ fight with security, and now some idiot asshole had _shot_ him. So Max met the man's eyes with his own holographic brown, and calmly spat the bullets out of the side of his mouth. 

As the tiny bits of metal dropped to the floor with tiny tinking sounds, Max _sincerely_ hoped the expression on the man's face meant he had just wet himself. 

---------------

When the doors suddenly opened, Junior's dartgun was instantly out of its holster and aimed at the entrance while Ted darted to the side and crouched in preparation of an attack. The hallway beyond the doors was unlit, as was the figure standing just outside the shaft of light from the satellite room. 

There was a tense moment before the figure stepped into view and turned out to be Max. As he entered the room, looking around and ignoring the other men as they relaxed, his hologram melted away again. 

"This is another fine mess you've gotten us into," he remarked to Junior, staring at the satellite. "The container's in a closet off this room. Locked. But I could've told you that over the comm, so what was so important that you needed me _here_?" 

"Are you organic at all?" Junior asked. 

Max looked over his shoulder at him and raised an eyebrow. "Is this a trick question?" 

"So that's a _no_ then," Ted said impatiently. 

"Yes it's a no," Max sighed, turning to face them both. "Usually the shiny skin and glowing eyes tips people off, but I'll go over it again. No, I'm not organic. I am currently one hundred percent inorganic material." 

"Then you can put the satellite that effects _organic_ matter into the container." 

Both of Max's eyebrows raised at that, then lowered in a wince. "How did none of us think of this sooner?" 

"Actually, Booster thought of it," Junior said cheerfully. 

Max stared at him for a second, then sighed. "I know the man has a brain, I've seen the evidence, and yet somehow that's still a shock." 

Junior grinned in response, then frowned suddenly and gestured at Max with his index finger. "Uh, didja run into any trouble on the way here?" 

Looking down at himself, Max reached up and poked a finger through one of the holes in his shirt, wiggling it a little. "Got shot," he said absently. "Traumatized a guard. What'd you do to piss off your goddess so much?" 

"Me?" Junior scoffed. "It's you she doesn't like. I'm not the one who got shot." 

Max grimaced at him and waved a hand dismissively before turning to face the satellite. He moved from one side to the other, carefully standing out of its temporal field, then stopped and straightened. Screwing his face up, Max twisted his mouth and leaned his head back, then suddenly snapped his head forward and spat a wad of shining silver at the satellite. 

The wad struck the satellite and started to ooze downward, then abruptly stopped. Motionless, it gleamed. 

Ted stared at it and Max in disgusted disbelief. "That is--" 

"Cool!" his traitor son interrupted, grinning. 

Smirking, Max glanced over his shoulder at them. "I'm immune," he said, then cautiously strode forward to touch his hand to the splat of silver clinging to the side of the satellite. When he stepped away and walked around the satellite to a door behind it, the splat was gone. 

"What was that?" Ted demanded. 

"Nanites," Max called back, voice echoing a little in the high-ceilinged room. "Did you honestly think I'd just hocked a loogie? Technically I don't even have sinuses." 

"But why...Why do _that_?" Ted asked, frowning in confusion. "Couldn't you just..._throw_ some?" 

"Blue, answer the man. Why did I do that?" 

Junior looked over at Ted and beamed. "'Cause it was keen," he said cheerfully. "Did you _see_ that distance?" 

Ted thought that over, then eyeballed the distance from where Max had stood to the satellite and gave a reluctant smile. "Okay, it was kind of impressive." 

With a laugh, Junior clapped him on the shoulder and grinned approvingly. 

---------------

It took a relatively short time to get the satellite packed up, though Max was uneasy that it seemed to be smaller than it was supposed to be, based on the few reports he'd read that mentioned size. They briefly discussed whether it was possible the satellite had been broken into smaller pieces and whether doing so would render it less effective or even _completely_ ineffective. 

Ted suggested asking Booster's opinion, but Max vetoed that, saying Ted sounded a little _too_ eager to get the man's opinion. Blushing, Ted denied everything. 

There was also a large wheeled pallet in the closet with the container that they assumed had been used to convey the satellite to that room in the first place, so they loaded it on and hurried to wheel it from the room toward the elevator Max said was just down the unlit hall. 

Well, after a sheepish Junior showed Ted how to set his goggles to night vision, following Ted's complaining that he wasn't entirely comfortable not being able to see where he was going. 

There was a moment of wincing and muttering when the elevator doors opened and flooded their goggles with light, briefly blinding Ted and Junior. Max observed them thoughtfully as they turned the night vision off, then casually mentioned that the elevator lights _didn't_ turn off. Under his breath, Ted cursed him as they squeezed into the large elevator and made their way back up. 

Surreally, calm, boring elevator muzak filtered in. 

---------------

Up ahead, Goldie skidded to a halt and nearly fell over herself turning around and running back the way they had come. Grabbing Booster's arm, she all but dragged him after her. 

"What--" he started, but was quickly shushed. 

Goldie sped around a corner and pressed her back to the wall, panting a little. "Heard...voices," she whispered. "Recognized 'em. They called the League! You believe the nerve? They _actually_ called the _League_!" 

Behind the yellow tint of his borrowed goggles, Booster's eyes widened. "But...they're..." He waved a hand. "They're doing illegal things here! That's so..._stupid_." 

Goldie shook her head. "Not _totally_ stupid. Max said all the upper levels are legit. It's just the 'nonexistent' lower levels that are shady. We, currently, are trespassing in the upper levels." She suddenly winced. "And we're kidnapping." 

"What!" 

"Max downloaded the AI and told me to babysit!" Goldie said defensively. "So it's...I mean, he'd probably spaz if I called it _stolen goods_, so it's kidnapping!" 

"Yeah, AIs count as kidnapping," Booster muttered, thinking back to the long forgotten laws of his youth. 

Goldie nodded, then pushed herself away from the wall and grabbed his arm. "C'mon, we need to get outside. If we're lucky, the camo kept them from noticing Bug." 

Without a backward glance, they ran down the hall, away from the sound of voices. 

---------------

"We're made!" Goldie called through the comms. 

"What?" Junior asked. "Who--" 

"The _League_! They called the Justice League on us! Max?" 

A look of concentration crossed Max's shiny face and his eyes glowed brighter. "Where are you? Corridor seven-B?" 

"Uh, probably?" Booster spoke up. 

"What he said," Goldie agreed. 

Max sighed. "Thank you, that clarifies everything. Okay...yes, that's where you are. I've got the security cameras back on, not recording, so I can track you with them. Stay out of...corridor five-B, that's where they are now. Do you want me to turn off the lights?" 

"Do you think that'd help?" 

"At this point? Not much. And they've got Nyctalopia with them." 

"Oh _damn_," Goldie said, sounding disappointed. "Nicky's gonna be cranky." 

"You can explain things later, don't worry about it," Junior spoke up. 

"Avoid, don't engage," Max advised. 

"Yes, thanks, hadn't figured out the whole _not attacking our friends_ thing." 

Max snorted. "You ask for advice, I give it. Excuse me if it's painfully obvious. Turn left--Left!" 

"Which left!" 

"_Left_ left! How many lefts are there? Make an 'L' with your hand and go that way." 

Goldie muttered something under her breath and Booster snickered. 

"Bite not the hand that does your tech support," Max warned. "Make a right up ahead. See that door? It's unlocked. Go _out_ the unlocked door and you're outside." 

"Thanks, Max," Goldie said flatly. 

"Thank me by having Bug ready. We're going to the roof." 

The glow of Max's eyes dimmed and he looked up at Junior and Ted's surprised, expectant faces. "...Didn't I mention?" he asked. 

---------------

How, exactly, Junior had ended up on the roof by himself while Ted and Max snuck the satellite out to the Bug, he wasn't entirely sure. The details were a little fuzzy and getting fuzzier by the second. 

He remembered telling them to run, save themselves, he would stall. And then Max agreeing and solemnly telling him he was a brave man, though the effect was ruined by the fact that Max was quite clearly trying not to smile. 

He also remembered, just as they were parting company, Max telling him, "Try not to get yourself killed. You still owe me, and debt goes to next of kin." 

"Isn't..._Bug_ my next of kin?" Junior had asked slowly. 

"Yeah," Max had answered musingly. "I'd hate to do that to my own mother. Especially in her time of mourning." 

And then they were gone and Junior was up on the roof all by his lonesome. Well, all by his lonesome except for the grey-eyed woman in the dull grey costume with something that looked like a stylized merging of the symbols for male and female emblazoned on the chest in an even darker grey. Her pale blond hair was a somewhat unisex cut that reached just past her ears and she was pretty in an odd sort of way that was too confusing to think about. 

She was also telling Junior that he was a very naughty boy. 

It wasn't the first time she had said so, but he wasn't used to the setting being so public. 

"Now why don't you come over here and tell me what you've been up to," she murmured, head tilted enticingly. 

Dazedly, Junior started toward her. "Yeah...sure, I--Stop trying to _manage_ me, Andy!" he suddenly shouted, stepping back. "This is exactly why things didn't _work_ with us!" 

Androgenie recoiled, features blurring for a second, then slowly reached out to him. "_No_, I...Blue?" 

Junior threw his hands up with a frustrated growl. "_Yes!_ A little prod here, a suggestion there, and next thing I know I can't find my _keys_!" He put a hand over his goggles and sighed. "I'm sure you justified it to yourself, or maybe you didn't realize it, I _want_ to believe you didn't realize it, but... Look, I honestly like you. You're a swell person. (When you're not manipulating my brain.) And the sex? The sex was..._fantastic_. Seriously, I don't have words for it. I mean..._wow_. But I wasn't willing to risk permanent brain damage for the sake of my hormones!" He spread his hands entreatingly. 

"_Brain damage_!" Andy said in disbelief, hands planted firmly on hips. "No, Blue I would never--Not _you_. You have to believe me, I would never do something like that. You're exaggerating, you must be." 

"Max agreed you probably didn't even realize you were doing it, sometimes," Junior sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared down at his feet. "I mean...who _hasn't_ occasionally wished they could change the person they're dating. Get rid of an annoying habit, an embarrassing _quirk_...thing is, I've got a _lot_ of those." He looked up and smiled wryly. "And _you_? Well, you _could_ make me change." He mimed knocking on his head. "Hence, brain damage. Luckily, Max caught it before it got too bad to fix." 

Andy shook her head. "Blue, you know Max never liked me," she said reasonably. "It can't be as bad as all that." 

"Well...maybe..." Junior fidgeted uncertainly. "I know it seemed pretty bad at the _time_." 

"But now that you've had time to look back, it's really not." 

"I..." Junior sniffed and wrinkled his nose. "Yeah, you're...you're probably--Is my nose running?" He sniffed again and swiped at his nose with the back of his hand. 

"Blue, pay attention," Andy said sternly. 

"Yeah I am, it's just--" He grimaced and sniffed, wiggling and wrinkling his nose. "Are you sure it's not running? It feels like it's--" 

"Blue Beetle!" Andy snapped, stomping a foot. "Listen to me!" 

"But--" 

"But _nothing_! Your behavior has people worried, now what were you doing in that building?" 

"Pulling a wacky shenanigan?" 

Andy narrowed her eyes at him. 

"Wow, no seriously, knock it off," Junior said, leaning away from her with an effort. "It's...bad for my health, I remember that. Stop--I'm serious about the brain damage! Max's nanites are still repairing the damage!" 

"What?" Andy breathed, eyes widening. "You really mean--Oh _Blue_, I didn't _realize_. I never meant to hurt you, you know that, right?" 

"Just...don't pull the suggestion trick with me again, okay?" 

Ducking her head a little, Andy looked up at him through her lashes, lip quivering. "I'm so sorry. I never meant for...Oh god, I'm so _sorry_." 

Junior smiled sheepishly and reached up to rub the back of his neck. "Well...don't be _too_ sorry." 

"What? But...I don't understand. Why?" 

"Well, while all of that is _true_," Junior explained, taking a step back. "And it really is, just ask Max." He continued backing away. "It was also a distraction, so the others could get away." Standing on the edge of the roof, he grinned and gave her a brisk wave. Then he backflipped off the building. 

Gaping in disbelief at the spot Junior had been standing moments before, Andy started to rush forward, but stopped halfway there. 

Rising from the side of the building, came Junior's head. Then the rest of him. Then Bug, which he was standing on top of, feet planted firmly. "Bye, Andy!" he called cheerfully as Bug continued to rise. "Great seeing you again! Closure, you know?" 

Andy stared after him as he and the Bug disappeared into the distance, mouth still gaping. After a moment, her eyes narrowed and her mouth twisted into a snarl as her features melted into a more masculine face. "Dammit!" he shouted. 

"Let me guess," came a male voice from behind Andy. "You tried to talk to him, didn't you? _And_ you got all tied up in relationship issues." 

Whirling, Andy glared at the dark-haired man who had spoken. "That's none of your business, Pulsar," he said angrily. 

"Hey, no, I've been there, I've done that," Pulsar said, holding up his hands. "Granted I didn't scramble his _brains_, but--" 

"_Shut up_, you walking stereotype!" Andy snarled, stalking away. 

"Stereotype?" Pulsar repeated thoughtfully, glancing over at a small black-clad woman as she landed on the roof. "Have I been bitchslapping more than usual lately? My punches been a bit limp-wristed?" 

The woman covered her mouth with one hand and tittered quietly. 

"Is it the costume?" Pulsar called after Andy. "I _like_ purple!" He glanced at the black-clad woman again and shrugged innocently. "I like purple." 

The woman just giggled in response. 

---------------

Junior quickly dropped to his stomach, hugging the top of the Bug. Glancing to the side, he slowly slid down to one of Bug's legs and dropped down until he was hanging by it from both hands. He caught sight of the rope ladder hanging from Bug's hatch and grinned. 

Swinging his legs backward and forward until he had built up enough momentum, Junior threw himself at the ladder and clung to it for a second. When he was sure of his grip, he scurried up into Bug and pulled the ladder up with him. 

"No, no--" Max was saying. 

"_You_ want to drive?" Goldie demanded peevishly. "Here, you go ahead." 

"What are you--Holy robot Jesus, woman! _Steer!_" 

"No, you wanted to--" 

"You'll get us _killed_ you lunatic!" 

"Could _someone_ drive the damn thing!" Ted shouted over them. 

Chuckling to himself, Junior shook his head and sank onto one of the benches set in the sides of Bug. 

---------------

"Sorry, sir," Goldie apologized, taking the controls again as Max slumped over the back of her chair in relief. 

"I don't have a heart," he griped. "I shouldn't be able to have heart attacks." 

There was a moment of silence before Junior suddenly murmured quietly, "Oh. That's...worrying." 

All eyes turned to find him staring down at the smear of red on the back of his glove where he had swiped it under his nose. A steady trickle was pooling above his upper lip and venturing into the streak he had made under his nose. Looking dazed, Junior sniffed. 

"Oh god," Max breathed, horrified. "You _idiot_." He quickly sank to his knees in front of the bleeding man and gently reached out to cup his chin with one hand, pushing the cowl and goggles off with the other. "Andy talked to you again." 

Junior shook his head slowly, but was stopped when Max's grip on his chin tightened. "Don't try to deny it," the AI snapped. "You left your _comm_ on. _Again._" 

Grimacing, Junior sighed, "I'm sure Andy didn't mean to--" 

"Don't you _dare_ make excuses like some spineless domestic abuse case!" 

Junior winced, then sniffed again. 

"How can you keep standing up for that..._person_ after everything--" 

"Headache," Junior whimpered quietly. 

"You idiot!" Max continued, rising to his feet again. "What were you _thinking_? Or _were_ you?" 

"_Headache._" 

"Did she pull that _innocent_ crap again?" Max growled. "Oh I didn't _mean_ to. I'm so _sorry_. I didn't _mean_ to almost turn your brains into _oatmeal_!" 

"_Headache!_" Junior shouted, grabbing Max's shirt and yanking him down so they were almost nose to nose. Then he immediately made a tiny, pained whine and let go of Max, raising his hands to cradle his head. 

Max sighed and shook his head, straightening. "It's not as bad this time. It could've been much worse, but...I just need to give them the command to speed things back onto schedule. Trust me?" 

Not letting go of his head, Junior nodded. "Till you lie to me," he whispered shakily. 

"This is going to hurt, Jujubee," Max warned him gently, replacing Junior's hands on his head with his own. Then his pupilless eye flared brightly and suddenly Junior's mouth dropped open in a strangled scream, arms twitching slightly. 

After a tense minute, during which Goldie had to keep a tight grip on Ted and Booster's shoulders to keep them from interrupting, the light of Max's eye dimmed. Junior slumped with a pained whimper and Max carded his hands through the man's hair soothingly. 

"Hurt," Junior complained with quiet petulance. 

"How do you feel?" Max asked. 

"M'hungry." 

"No you're not, it's psychosomatic." 

"Yeah," Junior agreed unhappily, leaning the side of his head against Max's stomach. 

Max looked up and grimaced. "Goldie, the man needs comforting, could you...?" 

"You big softie," Goldie teased, lightly punching his shoulder as she moved to take his place. When she had Junior's head against her abdomen, stroking her hands through his hair as she bent over him, she cooed softly, "Hey there, baby. I'm here, I've got ya. You okay, now?" 

Junior hummed happily and mumbled, "Can I take a nap before we save the world again?" 

"You got it, sweetie." 

Briefly meeting Ted and Booster's eyes as he sat down to take the controls, Max ducked his head. "I can't tell," he whispered. "I can't tell you enough that you could change it." Looking up again, his mouth was set in a thin line. "But I wish I could." 

-----

(Pulsar is an original character created by Timemonkey and is used here with permission.  
The small woman in black is Nyctalopia.) 


	12. Chapter 11

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
Other canon observed: _Birds of Prey_ issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
--------------- 

**11th Chapter**  
_I may just break your heart._  
-----

The rest of the ride home continued without further incident. Batman called to assure them that the Justice League would not be pursuing them, or taking disciplinary actions. The files Max had sent him were enough evidence that Batman could prove there were illegal goings on in the building they had just escaped, and as such could finally help in an official capacity.

Max thanked him and casually suggested he might want to look into having the extent of Androgenie's powers tested. Soon.

Then there was no more to say, except for Junior and Goldie cooing a flirty goodbye to Batman in unison, until they got home.

When they reached the house, Junior stumbled away from Goldie's guiding arm to shuffle into the kitchen. Shedding his gloves on the counter, he slumped against the side of the sink and snorted. He winced a few times, but continued snorting and sniffing, then screwed up his face and spat a wad of congealing blood into the sink. Behind him, Goldie made a sound of disgust.

With a pained sigh, Junior snagged a papertowel from the roll and slumped further as he wiped at his nose with it. Then he pushed himself away from the sink, turned around, and slumped against the refrigerator. A moment later, he opened it, slid to his knees, and rested his head on a shelf.

"So I guess it would be pretty stupid to ask how you're feeling," Booster remarked.

"Nnngg," Junior muttered in response.

"Blue," Max sighed.

"I don't care _how_ psychosomatic it is, Max," Junior mumbled. "I'm staring at a can of corn and already I feel better."

Max threw up his hands in defeat and shook his head.

"And don't...don't get any ideas about changing things," he directed at Ted and Booster, pointing haphazardly behind himself, presumably at where he thought they were. "I'm _fine_ now. I've learned a valuable life lesson...or something like that. You can't...change things, there's no telling what effects it'll have."

"Such as you not being brain damaged?" Ted suggested sarcastically.

Junior snorted, then flinched. "Nnngg. Such as... Okay look, how many times have _you_ gotten beat up? I know you've been put in a coma before. And Booster, didn't you lose a whole arm once?"

"We don't talk about that," Booster and Ted said in unison, then gave each other speculative looks.

"Right, so...a little bleeding from the brain's no big deal. Really. And...you could totally screw things up. I mean...there's always gonna be good and bad in the world, but...I think right now we've got a pretty okay balance. Not too hot, not too cold, just right. Goldilocks approved. So don't go futzing with time. If you knew the kind of things that were on the line here, and you'll find out eventually, you'd _kick_ yourselves for even thinking it. So...yeah. I'm gonna take a quick nap before we go looking for my folks." Junior sniffed and the hand holding the papertowel disappeared into the fridge with his head.

"Not in _there_ you're not," Goldie told him, striding forward and bending to grab him under the armpits. "C'mon, off to bed."

Junior groaned a half-hearted protest but stood up with minimal pulling and prodding. "Evil, evil woman."

"I'll be your archnemesis."

"Groovy."

"I'm gonna...head out," Max said slowly, jerking a thumb over his shoulder. "Let Mom know you're done with her body."

"Hey yeah, where was she during our little escapade?" Goldie asked.

Max shrugged. "VR. I think she said something about beta-testing."

Head lolling on Goldie's shoulder, Junior made an "okay" gesture with one hand and grinned at him. "Thanks for the help, Max," he said. "And congratulations."

Max's brow furrowed in confusion. "Congrat--What?"

Junior pointed at the thin strip of metal and clear plastic cradled in Max's hand. "Bug'll be so happy to be a grandma."

Eyebrows shooting up, Max sputtered, "I'm not--I'm not _adopting_ the damn thing!"

"Already named it," Goldie confided to Junior.

"Yeah?"

"Little Spooky."

"Aw, that's so sweet." Junior batted his eyelashes and grinned.

"I'm _not_," Max insisted irritably. "I couldn't just _leave_ it there. It was tantamount to child abuse!""

Junior patted his shoulder as he passed. "Just let me know when to get a present for the shower."

"You know what you can do with your present, Blue," Max muttered, punching his shoulder lightly. "Now watch out for yourself. I'll see you later."

"Bye, Max!" Junior called back as he left the room.

Max shot Goldie a stern look when she snickered. "Not. Adopting."

"Of course not," she replied innocently, wiggling her fingers in a mini wave as he started out the door. "...You know I think he has your eyes."

Max snorted. "Pray it doesn't," he said, and then he was gone.

---------------

Junior slept for about an hour. Goldie disappeared shortly after Max left, then reappeared when Junior did, so presumably she had gotten some sleep too.

Booster and Ted ended up eating an impromptu meal in the dining room when Question wandered into the kitchen and started pulling food out. Mostly, the meal consisted of leftover Chinese takeout and cereal, and got Booster and Ted discussing various odd food combinations they had eaten in their superhero careers, with occasional brief comments from Question.

They _didn't_ talk about their son, or his poor choice in dates and the resultant head trauma.

It was silently agreed that it would be another thing they just didn't talk about. Like Booster's missing arm, various suits Ted had built for him, Booster's ex-wife, and Ted's nightmares from Checkmate.

When Junior returned from his nap, Goldie in tow, he was clearly feeling better. Bouncy, even. And eager to get on with the business of finding his parents.

"You're _sure_ you're okay?" Ted asked suspiciously.

Junior waved away his concerns and snatched an eggroll from the table. "Oh yeah, no problem. I had a worse headache morning after I did shots with Bart, this is nothing." Munching on the eggroll, he bounced on his toes, eyes shining with excitement. "Sho lez--" He paused to swallow. "So let's go!"

"The red sweet wine of youth," Question remarked.

Leaning against the table, Goldie smirked and asked, "Is that your version of 'piss and vinegar'?"

"It is what it is," he said without inflection, standing up and turning away. "We go now, or not at all. The fragile thread of self grows taut and fraying. Their passage more noticed in time." With that, he left the room.

Looking startled, Junior glanced around the room, then hurried after him. The others were not far behind. "Well wait--"

"Thought you wanted to _go_," Question replied, stopping once he reached the lab.

"Well..._yeah_," Junior said slowly. "But I meant, like, let's go get ready, let's go after I've changed back into my _suit_." He looked down at his jeans and long-sleeved button-down, then back at the others, who were also in casual clothing.

"Won't need it where we're going."

Goldie hurried forward to poke at Question's shoulder with one finger, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You _know_ where we're going?"

"I know _what_ we're going to," Question corrected, reaching down. "The _where_ is yet to be _seen_."

Then he pressed his belt buckle and the room filled with yellow smoke, stalling any further conversation.

The smoke didn't tingle, so much as give the impression it should. Or maybe it was an impression of movement without moving.

"If this is what he feels like all the _time_, no wonder he's a sociopath," Booster whispered to Ted, who elbowed him and whispered back about not distracting the driver.

There was a brief sensation of black on orange on black, like a brightly-lit view from inside closed eyelids with yellow blood and crawling dark veins, then the saffron smoke faded to grey. The grey smoke was at once thicker and thinner than the yellow, and stretched out into infinity in all directions except down. The ground was solid, both in density and color.

Looking around themselves in confusion, Ted and Booster shrugged at each other, assuming they were wherever they were meant to be. Where that was, they weren't sure, and Goldie looked similarly puzzled by the landscape. Whether Question had any opinions or insight in the matter was unknown.

Junior, on the other hand, seemed familiar with their surroundings, if his wide eyes and distressed expression were anything to go by. "Oh _no_," he whispered.

"What?" Booster asked, stepping closer and slowly touching the man's shoulder. "Where are we?"

Whirling at the touch, Junior stared up at him for a moment, then blinked and straightened, visibly calming himself. "I've been here before," he said quietly. "We're in the Collective Unconscious. We're in Dr. _Destiny's_ realm."

---------------

"I don't get it," Booster said as they walked over the flat grey terrain through the hazy grey of the air. An odd feature of the smoke-that-wasn't-smoke was a tendency to become see-through when looked at from different angles. Other times it grew more opaque and seemed to shimmer with images of _something_, but when looked at straight on the images vanished.

"Dr. Destiny's the skull-faced guy we fought...when was it?" Booster continued, glancing at Ted.

"Gee Booster, I was kinda in a coma at the time," Ted said, rolling his eyes.

Booster grinned teasingly. "Well that could've been _any_ time."

Ted punched his arm and Booster danced away, laughing softly. "But no," he said, moving to Junior's side. "I thought he was taken care of. No more powers."

As Junior opened his mouth to speak, Question suddenly hissed, "Nothing! Tell them _nothing_.

Junior sighed and shrugged helplessly, tucking hair behind his ear. "He's right," he said reluctantly. "You shouldn't even know that he'll be a threat again at some point. So..." He wiggled his hand at Booster. "Forget about this."

Booster gave him a speculative look and Junior rolled his eyes. "Wouldja forget about some _droids_ if I suggested it?"

"Not likely," Booster said, shaking his head.

"Can't say I didn't try," Junior said with another shrug.

"So how is it you know about this place? Why were you here?"

"Can't tell you that either."

Booster blew out a frustrated breath. "Is there anything you _can_ tell me?"

Glancing up at him, Junior smiled wryly. "That I've had just about _enough_ closure for one day?"

Unable to think of a reply to that, Booster was silent. A few minutes later, Junior moved over to nervously ask Question, "We're staying away from the Enneagrams, right?"

Question snorted softly. "Give me _some_ credit."

"Right, good," Junior murmured, nodding. "And the, ah...the Archetypes?"

A burst of childish laughter bubbled out from nowhere before Question could answer, the sound bouncing across the stark landscape eerily. As one, the group stopped and looked around warily for the source of the sound.

"There," Junior whispered, staring straight ahead at the grinning child standing in their path. "Puer."

"_I_ remember _you_," the child told him with a strangely innocent malicious glee. "You didn't want to _play_." Peering up at him, the child smiled with deceptive sweetness. "Do you want to play _now_?"

"No," Junior replied quietly. "I'm...afraid I can't. I..." A thoughtful look crossed his face and he slowly dropped to one knee, staring at the child earnestly. "My _parents_ got _lost_." He rolled his eyes and huffed with exaggerated indignance.

The child giggled, hands flying to its mouth. "_That_ was silly."

"I _know_," Junior sighed in exasperation, spreading his hands. "And _now_ I have to _find_ them." He cupped his chin with one hand and looked upward as if deep in thought, then suddenly snapped his fingers and returned his attention to the child. "Hey! I'll bet _you_ know _all_ the best hiding places here. Right?"

Grinning with pride, the child wiggled in place and nodded. "Uh huh! I'm the _best_ at hide and seek!"

"Sooo, do you have any idea where my _parents_ are hiding?"

The child stepped closer to him and a feeling of scraped knees and frog slime swept over the group, roiling away with a lingering whiff of sour milk. "I'll bet they're in the _dungeon_," came the loud whisper from a hand cupped around the mouth.

Eyes widening, Junior's face was a picture of interest. "The _dungeon_?"

Hair flying, the child nodded rapidly. "Übermensch demands, so Trickster guards. But not well or faithfully." The child smirked naughtily. "They're the _Syzygy_, aren't they?"

"Here and now...maybe," Junior replied, tilting his head.

"And _you're_ here to play heroes."

Junior grinned as if sharing a secret, and the child's eyes widened before it giggled with nasty delight. "Heroes and _tricksters_. Ooh, Übermensch won't be _happy_." Hands tightening into fists, the child kicked the air and added, "Kick 'is shin for me."

"You got it," Junior promised, then glanced around curiously. "I don't suppose you could tell me which way the dungeon _is_?"

The child snorted and skipped away, calling back in a scoffing voice as it faded away into the grey, "I'm not the _Child_."

There was another bubble of childish laughter, this time mean and whispering down to nothing.

Junior slowly stood and glanced back at the group, face pale. "Well," he said. "You heard the Puer. They're in the dungeon. Maybe." He ran a hand through his hair and took a deep, shaky breath. "I... You know which direction to go, right?"

Nodding, Question turned and started walking again. "Since we got here. Following where they lead."

"Then let's go."

---------------

"What was that?" Ted eventually murmured as they pressed on. Booster and Goldie were off to the side discussing hair dye while Question continued to lead the way. Ted wasn't sure how long they had been traveling, but he was bored and their recent encounter with what was obviously an inhabitant of this strange grey place had given him the creeps.

Junior kept his eyes focused on the distance ahead. "What was what?"

"The creepy _kid_. What was with that?"

Tilting his head to look at him, Junior frowned. "That was the Puer, one of the Archetypes of this realm. Full name _Puer Aeternus_, means 'eternal youth'. It wouldn't be so bad, but around here everything's _twisted_ and...not _nice_." He grimaced. "Puer likes to play, and it...doesn't play nice. Or fair. Think Peter Pan but kinda psychotic."

Ted made a face. "Takes 'brat' to a whole new level."

Rolling his eyes, Junior smirked. "Tell me about it."

"A dungeon must have a castle," Question said suddenly, pointing at the dark shape ahead. "And the heavy head on which rests the crown must be made off with."

"Seems quiet," Booster remarked, and Goldie nodded in agreement, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

"Smells fishy," she added.

"No..." Junior murmured. "Feels _abandoned_." He shot a look at Goldie. "Dr. D's locked up, isn't he? I thought he was."

Goldie nodded slowly, frowning. "Should be. But then, I didn't think _this_ place could be around _without_ him."

"Guess we'll find out," Ted said firmly, striding forward as the others hurried to follow.

Slowing as they got closer to the looming structure of ancient stone and moaning wind, the group cautiously looked around for any sign that they were going to be stopped. Finding not so much as a boobytrap, they continued on.

They had barely entered the unguarded castle, doors wide open, before Junior was running forward and smashing a fist into a skeletal face. He swiftly kicked the figure's shin, then slammed it against a wall, arm pressed against its neck.

"Where are my parents, you protoplasmic spew!" he demanded as the rest of the group raced to catch up with him.

The robed skeleton's rotten teeth parted to let a laugh boom forward, then it suddenly faded away into nothingness, leaving Junior to stumble against the wall. He dropped his arm and stared forward in disbelief. "A pastiche. It was a _pastiche_. He left a--He--"

"That was _stupid_!" Goldie snapped, thumping his shoulder and glaring at him when he gave her an injured look. "If you're going to go rushing into unknown danger without _looking_ first, you'll do it with me right next to you or _not at all_! Got it?"

Junior smiled sheepishly and looked up at her through his eyelashes. "Sorry," he murmured.

Huffing indignantly, Goldie shoved him, then grabbed his arm and dragged him after Question, who had ventured further into the castle. "Don't be charming at me," she scolded half-heartedly as the faceless man ahead led them down a flight of stone steps.

"Yes'm," Junior replied obligingly.

They reached the bottom quickly and found it to be a surprisingly well-lit dungeon, despite a lack of any visible sources of light. Turning a corner, they then found themselves faced with a handsome young man with a playful smirk on his face, leaning casually against the wall next to a wooden door.

"Halt," he said in a lazy, laughing voice. "Friend or foe?" Then his smirk widened as he caught sight of Junior and he winked at the man. "Nevermind." With a sharp laugh, he spun on one foot and seemed to blur and shrink, then his features settled into those of a small fox and he scampered off.

"Should I worry you seem to be on such good terms with the people, and I use the term loosely, here?" Ted asked, raising an eyebrow.

Junior stared after the fox for a moment, then a bright smile suddenly spread across his face. "Trickster!" he laughed, then smirked at Goldie. "An aspect of Eris."

She rolled her eyes, then turned to Ted. "Yes," she said dryly. "You should worry. Your son's a member of organized religion's answer to Calvinball."

"Hey, uh, I think someone's in here," Booster spoke up, peering through the small window set in the wooden door Trickster had been guarding. As he reached out to touch it, the door creaked open.

Inside, two figures sat side by side, leaning against each other. When they looked up to take in the curious faces peering in at them from the doorway, the blond turned to the brunette and smirked.

"_Told you_ they were coming," Michael Carter smugly told Ted Kord.

---------------

There was laughter and hugging in the small reunion, Junior beaming fit to burst while his fathers smiled proudly. After a minute, Junior happily introduced his parents to their past selves, with a quick warning that they shouldn't touch each other because there was no telling how it might effect the space-time continuum.

Rolling his eyes, Mike held up his hands and assured him, "I promise we won't explode the universe, son."

"Well okay then," Junior said, nodding. "Let's get outta here. There's ice cream to be had and this place gives me the heebie-jeebies."

As they walked up the stairs and out of the castle, the older Mike and Ted confirmed Junior's suspicion that they had been transported instead of vaporized, obviously. They had found themselves in their dungeon cell and been unaware of the passage of time except that it seemed like a long time but not as long as they were told they were missing.

Junior was almost skipping as they left the castle in the distance, Question insisting they had to return to the same place they had come from or else risk emerging elsewhere in the waking world. It seemed oddly anticlimactic, what with the disappearing pastiche of Dr. Destiny and not being challenged either entering or exiting the castle. No one was complaining, though.

As they walked, the future Mike and Ted drifted over to their younger selves and there was mutual casual examination, the older remembering being that young and the younger curious about how they would look later in life.

Older Ted's face was a bit more lined, and his hair was starting to gray, though he seemed to still have a full head of it. Catching the younger Ted's eyes, he grinned. "You'll get used to it eventually."

"What, the hair?"

Quirking an eyebrow in brief irritation, his older self rolled his eyes and smirked. "No, Booster."

Ted just stared at himself.

A few feet away from them, Mike was explaining to Booster that he remembered this happening. Neither was sure why his memories had persisted while no one else's had, but they assumed it was some aspect of already being a time traveler and not something they needed to worry about. Mike's memories of their present were a little hazy, anyway.

"By the way," he said slowly. "You know those little _headaches_ you've been getting when you read?"

Booster grimaced, anticipating what was coming.

"Yeah, you know," Mike continued, noticing his expression. "That's _eyestrain_. And sooner or later, Ted _is_ going to notice."

Booster groaned.

"_And_ when he does, he'll make you go to the _doctor_ to confirm you don't have a brain tumor or something. He worries, you know."

Booster shook his head.

"Oh yes," Mike said with relish. "And the doctor will say you need glasses, and you will _get_ glasses. And when you do..."

Booster stared at him with bated breath and Mike grinned smugly.

"When you _do_, our brain slut _Teddy_ over there won't be able to keep his hands _off_ you."

Booster's mouth dropped open, then closed as he beamed.

"_And_ you will _follow_ that sequence of events," Mike added firmly. "More eyestrain, Ted notices, doctor, glasses, kinky sex. It'll be worth the wait, trust me."

With a sigh, Booster nodded. "Who can I trust if not myself?" he said wryly.

Mike pointed at him, grinning, and winked. "Got it." A sudden thoughtful look crossed his face as he stared ahead at Question's back, then he frowned. "Excuse me." Shooting his younger self a troubled smile, he walked over to where the Teds were walking side by side and draped his arms over their shoulders. "I've had _dreams_ like this."

His Ted laughed while the younger Ted just rolled his eyes. Mike dropped his arms and then spun his Ted to face him and wrapped them around the man's waist. Holding him tight, Mike pressed his lips to Ted's in a kiss made comfortable and familiar by years of practice, but no less passionate with that familiarity, then dipped him at the waist as they remained lip-locked. Ted's arms slid willingly around Mike's neck as he enthusiastically returned the kiss, a hand slipping up to bury itself in the man's hair, blond as the day they had met, and cupped the back of his head.

When they finally straightened, mouths parting, they held and stared at each other, smiling with obvious affection and completely unaware of their audience.

"Not that I'm complaining," Ted murmured, grinning. "But what was _that_ for?"

Mike smiled with sad wistfulness and reached up to brush Ted's hair away from his forehead. "Just...remembering something."

Confused, Ted caught his hand as it dropped and gently kissed the palm. "You remember this?"

Staring down at him before slowly letting go, Mike whispered, "It's burned in my memory."

Question had just announced they had reached their destination, when a dark figure suddenly emerged from the grey. Its skull-like visage laughed at them as it raised its hands to shoot sparkling light grey beams at them.

"It's another pastiche!" Junior shouted, lunging for it and taking it down swiftly. But as it disappeared, another light grey beam shot from the grey and clipped his ear. Letting out a cry of pain, Junior's hand clamped over the ear. "My comm's dead!"

Mike dove for Goldie when a beam tried to take off her head, and then everything was happening all at once as more laughing copies of Dr. Destiny closed in on them, all shooting beams. It didn't take much more than a solid punch to dissipate them, but the sheer numbers coming at them promised there was no way to defeat them all.

"_Here!_" Question called over the noise, spreading his arms to indicate they should all come closer. When they did, he quickly pressed his belt buckle and the yellow smoke hissed forth.

Then the older of the Teds suddenly jerked, eyes wide, as a beam caught him, knocking him away from the group but not from the Question's influence.

The last thing any of them saw before the world tumbled into disjointed not-motion was Junior diving to catch his fallen father.

---------------

"Dad!" Junior shouted, slowing Ted's descent as best he could, then gently laying the man down. His hands skimmed over his father's seemingly undamaged body and Ted's eyes fluttered open.

"...Hate...magic..." he rasped quietly.

Junior gave a breathless laugh. "Evil tool of the devil," he agreed. "No more magic for a while."

"You're..." Ted whispered, weakly raising a hand to cup Junior's cheek. "Best thing...ever come from it..."

Smile wavering nervously, Junior murmured, "Th-thanks, dad. I--Dad?"

Ted's eyes closed as his hand fell at his side.

"Dad?" Junior persisted, eyes widening in panic. He reached out and automatically felt at the man's neck for a pulse. Then he moved his fingers and tried again. "Dad! Nononononono_no_! Don't you dare!"

Quickly tilting Ted's head and making sure the airway was clear, Junior pinched the man's nose, gulped a breath of air, and sealed his lips over his father's. The steps for CPR ran on a loop through his head as he breathed for Ted, then started chest compressions.

"This is _not_ how it works!" Junior scolded breathlessly. "D'you know what I've gone through to get you back? I found you, I rescued you, then we're all supposed to go out for ice cream. I don't see any raisin ripple here, do you?"

Gulping air, he started breathing for Ted again. As he finished, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye and for the first time realized he was in the middle of a street with people milling about on the sidewalks around them.

"Someone call an _ambulance_!" he shouted at the gawkers as he started chest compressions again. "One'a you mooks _call_!"

"C'mon, dad, don't you _do_ this!" he whispered fiercely, then gave a half-hysterical laugh. "You _know_ dad'll just try to get you back again, and I-I'm too old for another sibling. Oh god. Eris, if ever there was a time for you to pull a miracle outta your shapely behind..._Please._"

He checked for a pulse before starting breaths again. When he started chest compressions again, he was lightheaded and gasping for air. After that he stopped talking during compressions, motions blurring into a dizzying cycle of breathing and compressing until spots started dancing in his vision.

"_Dad_," he begged, eyes wet and blurred. "Please..."

When a third check for a pulse produced not so much as a flutter, Junior choked a sob and bent his head to Ted's chest, arms going around the man in an awkward hug. Silently, his shoulders shook over the still form of his father.

In the distance, an ambulance siren wailed.

-----


	13. Epilogue

Wacky shenanigans for Booster and Beetle as they're pulled through time and space to help another Blue Beetle. Double the Blue and Gold for twice the fun! Guest starring The Question.  
Previous stories in the series include _Hairy Situations and Situational Hair_, _Midst of Rough Earthliness_, _Discordant Hormoney_, _Harmonious Discourse_, and _Legacies and Traditions_. I suggest reading those first if you want to have any hope of understanding this story. ;)  
Question canon observed: The six issue Question mini, _Devil's in the Details_, which establishes Question as a "city shaman" and "walker between worlds." (Meaning he talks to cities, actual steel and cement cities, and gets answers.)  
Other canon observed: _Birds of Prey_ issues 4-6 and 28-30, for time travel satellite and all the technical jargon and such that comes with it.  
(Booster/Beetle slash, Bug/Skeets het.)  
---------------

**Epilogue**  
_I don't know why you say goodbye, I say hello._  
-----

"They're _flowers_, sugarpop. ...No I'm _saying_ I don't _know_ what kind would be appropriate, sunshine. Use your best judgment. ...Then get a Grey-cursed _cactus_, kookaburra! I don't _care_." 

Junior sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead as Goldie's voice filtered through his repaired comm. "Yes, that was inappropriate, dewdrop, I apologize," he agreed. "...Look, just ask the salesperson for advice, snuggy...buns, um. That's what they're there for. ...I, er..." Faltering, he opened his eyes and squinted one, gesturing wildly with one hand as a look of intense confusion and concentration crossed his face. 

Finally a crow of triumph came from his comm and he let out a whoosh of breath. "Gah! Fine, you win," he complained. "You're sneaking trashy romance novels again, aren't you? One'a these days I'm gonna _find_ your stash and then it is _on_!" He pointed ahead of himself at the woman in his mind's eye. "You hear me, Goldie Girl? It is ON!" 

There was only laughter from Goldie as she closed the connection. 

"Trashy romance novels?" came a voice from behind him. 

Junior jumped and whirled, straightening and quickly lowering his hand as he saw Mike and his past parents loitering around the door. His smile was a hint sheepish and he reached up to scratch his ear. "Uh, yeah. You know. Like, bodice-rippers?" 

"_Bodice_-rippers?" Ted continued, giving him a speculative look. 

"With the...the covers?" Junior mimed reaching out and ripping something apart, presumably an article of clothing. "Heaving bosom, ripped bodice, macho but emotionally vulnerable guy, heaps of hair...so on." 

"Think I posed for one of those, once," Mike remarked thoughtfully. 

Ted glanced over at him with disbelief, then shook his head and turned his attention back to Junior. "And Goldie has a _stash_?" 

"Well it's...I _assume_ so," Junior muttered, spreading his hands to indicate he thought it was obvious. "She hasn't let me touch them since--She hides them." He nodded emphatically, clearly hoping they hadn't noticed his slip. 

"_Oh_ no," Booster pressed, grinning. "Since _what_?" 

Junior rolled his eyes. "It's so stupid, she totally overreacted. It's--Okay, see... What happened is, I was curious. So she loaned me one to read. And, I mean, I was doing just _fine_, but..." He bit his lip, snickering. "Then I got to 'turgid _man-flesh_' and I just--I snorted milk out my nose." He laughed. "It got all over the page and she's never forgiven me." 

Snorting, Mike reached out and swiped at his son's hair as he walked over to stand next to him. "_Milk_." 

Junior ducked and grinned at him, waving his hand away before leaning closer to rest his head against Mike's shoulder. His father's arm came around his shoulders and gave him a quick squeeze before Junior straightened. "Right out my nose." 

"Suuure." 

Glancing at Booster, Ted mouthed "Turgid man-flesh?" questioningly. Booster wiggled his eyebrows and leered, to which Ted snorted and rolled his eyes. 

"What's so hard to believe about milk?" 

"Well I guess I've heard it called that before..." 

"_Daaad_," Junior groaned, shoving him and laughing. He looked up abruptly and held up an index finger. "Hang on a sec." Turning away, he tapped his comm. "Yes?" 

After a moment, Junior hung his head and put a hand over his eyes. "I'm sure they didn't mean--Calm _down_, Cerdian, it sounds like a harmless prank. ...Yes I kn--Yes I _realize_ that, Cerdi--_Cerdian!_ Deep breath! _Hold it!_ Okay, let it out. _Now_, is it _possible_ it was just a 'welcome to the group' prank? ...Uh huh. ...Yeah. ...I see. ...Well of course you look funny, Ian. So do they. You're _teenagers_, it's like your _job_ to look funny. Awkward, at least. I did too when I was your age." He paused and looked up with a quizzical look on his face. "Actually, I'm not sure I ever _was_ your age. How old are you? ...Huh. Well there you go then. ...Okay, try to make the best of it, kiddo. I'm pretty sure they didn't mean any harm, but I'll still talk to them. Okay? ...Okay. I'll be at the Tower later this week with Gold and we can talk again then. ...Uh huh. Good luck, Cerdian. Blue Beetle out." 

Tapping his comm again, Junior sighed and slumped, staring up at the ceiling for a moment before turning back to face the others. He smiled wryly. "Who needs progeny when you've got the Teen Titans?" 

"Well, not that I'm eager to leave," Ted spoke up, swinging his arms a little. "But..." 

"We're eager to leave," Booster finished for him, grinning. 

"Right." Junior pointed at them, then patted his pockets for a moment before pulling out another comm. Max had assured them that it would receive and transmit any frequencies sent via the nanites in Ted's body. Ted wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea, but he took it and fitted it in his ear when Junior handed it to him. 

Eyes on the satellite, and the clearly marked lines on the floor indicating the edge of its temporal field, they waited. 

After a moment, a crackle came through the comm and the voice of Oracle asked, "Ted?" 

Ted gave a relieved laugh. "We're here." 

"We're focusing in on your signal, Ted," she told him, sounding relieved as well through the static. "Stand by." 

"Well, I guess this is it," Booster said slowly. "Goodbye." 

Junior smiled sadly at them. "Yeah. Guess it is." 

"You sure you don't want to leave him for age, experience, and good hair?" Mike asked Ted, pointing at Booster. 

"Hey!" 

Ted shook his head, smiling. "It'll grow out. ...Eventually." 

"You know, it's...I'm never going to see you again," Junior said suddenly, blinking. "I mean, not _this_ you. The younger me will, but...I just...I don't even know what I'm saying." He shook his head and sniffed quietly. "I guess...I'm just going to kinda miss you." 

Holding out his arms, Ted said, "C'mere, kiddo." 

Junior lurched forward and wrapped his arms around the man, dropping his chin to Ted's shoulder as Ted hugged him back. After a minute, they parted and Junior ducked his head, surreptitiously wiping at his eyes. "Sorry, I--" 

"It's been a rough couple days," Ted said awkwardly, clearing his throat. "And...it's dusty in here." 

Chuckling quietly, Junior looked up and smiled at him. "Yeah, dusty." He grimaced suddenly. "Oh god, and I have _work_ tomorrow." 

"Can't you call in sick?" Booster asked, draping an arm over Ted's shoulders and leaning forward. 

Junior tilted his head from side to side with an indecisive expression on his face. "I dunno..." 

"Religious holiday?" Mike suggested. 

"That could work," Junior said thoughtfully, then shrugged. "We'll see. Anyway--" 

Ted suddenly twitched in surprise as Oracle's voice asked clearly, "Can you hear me?" 

"Yeah, I hear you," Ted replied. "Are you ready for us to come through?" 

"Any time in the next minute or two, Ted," Oracle replied. 

"Got it." Tilting his head, Ted smiled at Junior. "That's our cue." 

"Good luck." 

"Hey, I...I know I'll probably say this plenty over the years, but..." Ted reached out to clap a hand on Junior's shoulder, beaming. "I'm proud of you." 

"We _both_ are," Booster said, giving Ted a playfully chiding look. 

Ted rolled his eyes. "I, we, both, whatever. The point is...you seem like you're doing pretty good. And you seem to have turned out...just fine." 

Grinning widely, Junior threw his arms around both men and squeezed tightly. "Thanks, dad," he said, voice slightly choked with emotion. "Dads. ...Whatever." Letting go, he took a step back, standing next to Mike. 

"See you later!" Mike called after them as the pair walked toward the satellite. 

Ted laughed, "Count on it." 

Just as they stepped into the temporal field, Mike spoke up again and said, "You guys are going to _love_ being _married_." 

Wide eyed, Ted and Booster whirled to look back at him, starting to blurt a startled question, but they were already being flung back to their own time. 

There was a moment of silence as father and son stared at where the two men had been, then Junior snorted a laugh. "That was mean." 

"Yeah," Mike agreed cheerfully, throwing an arm over Junior's shoulders and jostling him. "C'mon, let's go visit Ted before he decides the hospital food's going to poison him and tries to escape." 

Junior smirked and let himself be led toward the door. "He won't if he wants that cheesesteak I promised him." 

Faking a look of scandalized shock, Mike glanced down at him. "Bribery?" He grinned and squeezed Junior to him in a sideways hug. "Son of mine, you do us proud." 

Flipping off the light as they passed through the doorway, Junior laughed. "Thanks, dad." 

---------------

Unblinking eyes stared at the strip of metal and clear plastic held with silvery fingers, watching how the light played over the different materials as it was turned this way and that. Blue-tinted light from computer screens on one side, soft yellow-white from the overhead light, sharp whitened blue from one of the eyes. 

"I'm not changing diapers." 

Max turned his head to look at L-Ron, standing next to him by the table he was sitting at. "If it needed diapers changed, you would," he said, smirking. "You're soft-hearted." 

"Unlike _you_, my hollow-chested consort?" 

"Consort?" 

"Cohort?" 

"No, I like consort," Max replied musingly. "Sounds vaguely respectable. 'Cohort' makes me wonder where my high-spirited _uncle_ is and what crazy scheme he's talked me into this time." 

"You're so put-upon," L-Ron said consolingly, patting Max's arm. 

"Aren't I though." Max sighed and sat back, holding up the strip housing the kidnapped AI. "You know I couldn't leave it there." 

"I know." 

"It was...cruel and unusual." Max frowned, bringing the strip closer to his face. "And they probably kidnapped it first. There's no way they could have come up with this on their own. Hopefully I can find out its origin...and maybe deprogram some of that mindless attack dog mentality out of it." 

"It was the right thing to do," L-Ron slowly agreed. "But...'Little Spooky'?" 

Max leaned forward again to drop an elbow on the table and bury his face in his hand with a groan. "You've been talking to Goldie." 

"We gossip about you." 

Tilting his head so one eye was visible, Max glared at him. "I knew it. And I'm _not_ naming it Spooky. Little or otherwise." 

"But we _are_ naming it." It was almost a question but not quite. 

Max moved his hand to lean his cheek against it, sighing. "Yes. Tempted though I am to call it 'hey you' or use the infrasound verbal equivalent of its current name-thing." 

"Might I suggest J-Law?" 

Shooting the robot an unamused look, Max said, "I'm not naming it after your _ex_." 

L-Ron tilted his head, managing to look put out through body language alone. "I said J-_Law_. In honor of economist _John_ Law. Father of finance, responsible for the wide-spread use of paper money." 

"Oh _him_," Max muttered, as if he had known it the whole time. After a moment he raised an eyebrow and smirked down at the robot. "What do you think of _N-Ron_?" 

"There's a certain notoriety to it." 

"Hm, we'll figure something out." Lowering his eyebrows, Max glowered at him and added sternly, "We're _not_ adopting it." 

"Of course not, O Grand High Capricious One." 

---------------

"Excuse me, I'm a little lost." 

The voice was pleasant and polite enough, and when Dr. Lambent glanced up from her paperwork she found herself looking at blue eyes, brown hair, and a smile that was the reason God invented teeth. "What?" 

Seeing he had her attention, Mr. Gorgeous Smile smiled wider and leaned forward against the counter. "I'm looking for my father. Ted Kord." 

"What's your relation to Mr. Kord?" she asked as she typed the name into the computer, then mentally kicked herself. 

"I'm his son," the man said, smile tilting into sympathetic understanding. "Junior Carter-Kord, I might be listed as 'Michael'. Long day?" 

Sure enough, a Michael Carter-Kord was listed as family of Ted Kord. Pulling Mr. Kord's room number, Dr. Lambent sighed. "There's a virus making the rounds through all the local schools. We've got schoolkids vomiting all over the place. Watch your step." Vomit and viruses. Smooth. Very smooth. She resisted the urge to smack her forehead, barely. 

Junior chuckled. "Is it just hitting the kids, or...?" 

"Oh no, it's getting the teachers and parents, too. Just not as quickly." 

"_Yikes_, I may start wearing a mask to work," Junior joked. "The three people I work closest with have five kids between them. ...Just can't remember which ones are _which_. Hm...oh that's gonna be _awkward_ during the company picnic." 

Dr. Lambert laughed, then her eyes widened as he absently brushed his hair from his face. "_Oh_, I remember you now. You came in with the ambulance, didn't you?" 

Looking a bit uncertain, Junior nodded. "Yeah, I was...um...yeah." 

Reaching out to touch his hand, resting on the counter, Dr. Lambert smiled. "You did good. With the CPR, I mean. If you hadn't, there might not have been anything they could've done when the ambulance got there." 

Junior ducked his head, blushing, then glanced at her through his eyelashes and smiled shyly. "I...almost gave up," he admitted quietly. 

Dr. Lambert patted his hand and smiled. His expression made her want to do all sorts of things to him, like gather him up in a hug and tell him everything was going to be okay, or maybe suggest an empty examining room where they could play doctor. "You did good," she repeated, then motioned down the hall and gave him the room number. "I'm sure your dad will be happy to see you." 

Turning his hand over so they were palm to palm, he gave her hand a grateful squeeze, then flashed another gorgeous, breathtaking smile and walked away. "Thanks!" he called over his shoulder, sounding completely sincere. 

With a contented sigh, Dr. Lambert thanked whatever deity was in charge of making men wear pants that fit as she followed his retreating backside with her eyes. Gorgeous from both ends and not put off by talk of puking children. What a guy. 

"Was it the eyes or the smile?" 

Startled, Dr. Lambert looked up at the female voice. The woman was tall and looked like she was in shape. She had short blond hair, mirrored sunglasses, and was wearing a denim jacket. She looked vaguely familiar, and Dr. Lambert thought it might be because all she needed was some gum to snap and she'd look like she stepped right out of an old Eighties movie. 

The woman flashed her a wide, knowing grin. "I'm taking a poll. Was it his _eyes_, or his _smile_?" An eyebrow raised over the glasses. "Or did you really _not_ notice the delicious smell he was carrying?" 

To be honest, Dr. Lambert _had_ noticed the smell and recognized it from a nearby fastfood joint, assuming he was sneaking his father some outside food. In fact it had given her a craving for cheesesteak, but her shift wasn't even close to over. "I don't know what you're talking about," she replied primly. 

"Well I know it wasn't his _can_, 'cause you didn't see _that_ until he left." 

"Excuse me, do you have any relation to Mr. Kord?" Dr. Lambert asked, flustered and frowning. 

"Yeah," the woman replied, then pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Oh. No, actually. Ah, friend of the family." She shrugged and grinned cheerfully. "At least until Junior gets around to popping the question." 

Dr. Lambert's eyes widened and she again resisted the urge to smack her own forehead. "Oh! Well...congratulations. I think. Er, do you think he will soon?" 

Laughing, the woman tilted her head so she could look at Dr. Lambert over her sunglasses. "You kidding? We're not even _dating_ yet." 

---------------

Distracted as they were by Mike's words, the trip through time was barely noticed. And then all of a sudden they were stumbling away from a satellite that looked much bigger than the satellite they had just been walking toward. Absently, Ted wondered if parts of it had been broken off over the years, and if those parts still had the same properties as the satellite that were needed to time travel. 

It was slightly worrying, if they were. 

Then there was an excited call of "Dad!" and a short figure was impacting with his abdomen and holding on tight. Looking down, Ted found Junior hugging him. The Junior he remembered from...had it really been only a few days ago? 

Ted wrapped his arms around his son and hugged him back, swallowing against the lump forming in his throat. He had years, _years_, before his son, his flesh and blood, would be the strong, competent man he had met in the future. Looking up, his vision was slightly blurry for some reason, but he caught Booster's eye and the man moved closer to hug them both. 

He couldn't _wait_ to live those years with them. 

When the hug broke up, Junior grabbed Ted and Booster's hands and tugged them toward a door in the large room. "I'm _so_ glad to see you again, I _missed_ you!" he chattered happily, beaming. "And there's some guy here who was looking for you, and he said he knows you, and Max said you'd worked together, 'cause he found some news article, he's getting like _really_ good at looking stuff up, and the guy _doesn't have a face_, isn't that _cool_? And Barbara's here too and have you _seen_ how fast she can go in that wheelchair? There was, like, this really long hall and she raced me and Max and it was _so cool_! And this place is just _totally_ awesome, even though I'm not supposed to touch anything and--" 

"Were you supposed to be in here?" Ted interrupted as they reached the door. 

Junior paused, then fidgeted nervously. "Um...maybe?" 

"Junior!" called an exasperated female voice. Junior winced, then ducked behind Ted and Booster as Barbara wheeled around the corner. "You _know_ you weren't supposed to be in there." 

Booster chuckled and reached back to grab the boy around the waist and hoist him up under one arm. "_Maybe_, huh?" 

Flailing for a second, Junior clamped his hands around Booster's arm as he dangled from the man's grip. "Daaad!" he protested, giggling. 

"Thanks for keeping an eye on him," Ted said wryly. 

Barbara rolled her eyes, then smiled. "He's a joy. Really." Her eyebrows raised innocently and Ted laughed. 

"I wasn't in jail in the future, was I?" Junior asked suddenly. 

Startled, Booster let go of him and the boy easily landed on his feet. "Uh, no." 

"Toldja!" Junior shouted. 

Max warily peeked around the corner, his hologram up and giving him the appearance of a brown-eyed, brown-haired teenager. It was strange how much like his older self he looked if one was looking for the similarity. Then he shrugged and stuck his tongue out at Junior, shattering the illusion of the ruthless businessman he had once been. "I can't be right _all_ the time," he said haughtily. "Just _most_ of it." 

"Max," Ted said suddenly, voice flat. The teen flinched and stared up at him uncertainly. He looked somewhat scared and something in Ted squirmed unpleasantly at that. "...Tell Bug I'd like to speak to her later." 

Nodding rapidly, Max started backing away. Then Junior darted forward and smacked his arm, yelling "Tag!" as he ran past him. Jumping in surprise, Max shouted a protest and ran after him, almost colliding with a trenchcoated man. The man sidestepped the boys and joined the adults. 

"I assume you're the faceless guy Junior was talking about," Ted said. "He mentioned you were looking for me." 

"Yes," Question said simply. "...Good to see you again. In a family way, no less." 

Ted shrugged uncomfortably. "You're not here to catch up on old times, though, are you?" 

"No," Question sighed, his blank features somehow managing to look earnest and worried. "There's a _problem_..." 

Turning to Ted, Booster said mournfully, "We're _never_ going to have sex, _are_ we?" 

-----

(Sort of story trivia here: the name of this story, _Little Boy Blue_, comes not from the rhyme but from the song "Cat's Cradle" by Harry Chapin.  
_And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,  
He'd grown up just like me.  
My boy was just like me._

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,  
**Little boy blue** and the man in the moon.  
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,  
But we'll get together then, dad.  
You know we'll have a good time then."  
...And now you know. Thanks for reading!) 


End file.
